25158 Blog Feed: tonyrayhutchison 2008-07-24 23:07:13 tonyrayhutchison Your e-mail address 128258 2008-07-24 23:11:48 Sho nuff I might be crazy! But I think its a good kind.
  When I found out Tiffanie married that boy I admit it broke my heart. Not so much that a woman who I thought loved me has so easily forgot me, but more that I'm still alone while she isnt. Now understand, I am glad that she's happy, hey for real I love that girl all I want for her is happiness and joy, but I'm killing myself to be a good man, I'm working ,I'm back to working out. I am saving money for a future, I'm becoming more involved with my company, not just working a job but building a career. I'm cute (not trying to be vain, just saying what i've been told), and yet she's married and I sit alone.
  Now I've put in alot of time trying to convince a woman that I am a good and decent man, that I will love her more than she's ever known, that giivin the chance I'd make her happy, while said woman still wont allow me to be a part of her real life. Now granted, she has things that she has to tend, responsibilities that she cant just walk away from, but she could allow me to be something more than the man on a screen.
  I met a great girl while on a show (those that dont know dont ask what that is) and so I didnt sale (as Brandon said I had to concentrate so hard on "standing on my dick" that I couldnt stay in the sale). She took my call and laughed as I rambled how I'd love to see her. And then she accepted. Date on monday night. You like that dont ya? see monday means safety date, yup yup.
  Boywonder is fantastic, he had the allergy test a few months ago and now I know what it takes to keep him healthy. I hate giving him meds, but I'm working on fixing that too. Court and parole have left me alone for awhile. Thats awesome!!
  The trip to Nashville was great. And next month we're going to Barren River. September we do Memphis. Cant beat it can ya?! I get paid an obscene amount of money AND they send me to really freakin cool places.
  Hard work and determenation mixed with alot of prayers and friends and family have made me a happy man.
   Ten Grand by the end of September. Thats the goal. I started an account monday for that sole purpose. I want to and will have saved  $10,000 by the close of business in September. Why? Just because I want to. I have plans for it, but SHE might not.
  There's the update. Thats about all I got for now. Love on thoughtsters, and know I love you. ]]> 127707 2008-07-23 21:30:14 Happiness dwells within in each heart,
Until it's stolen by a thief.
We all know well that villain dark,
Whose wretched name is grief.



( 3 )

  In silence they say more than either man wanted to hear spoke. Tonight a man would come to understand truly what life and death meant. An angel lay broken and bruised in a hospital bed, while her mother sought refuge from an approaching storm on her way to a clinic to heal her heart and mind, while she learned to keep her body clean.
Clean. That's what tonight brought. This rain. These tears. Tonight dirty would be washed clean.
  "It's time Red. Father Thomas is waiting"
  As Red hit the blinker and started his turn towards Saint Ann.'s he spoke "I've been thinkin. Does it really work if we ask for forgiveness first?"
  "No, but I'd rather have at least this last prayer heard... In case we can't make another" Tony said, a slight smile creased his tired, heart worn face. "Father Thomas is a good man, one of the two men I'd trust with my life.. And the only man I'd trust with my soul. He'll say his prayers, he'll give us blessings. Then we'll send this fucker to hell the hard way." Tony finished as the tear that had for so long been hiding in the corner of his eye broke free and found its way down his cheek.
  "Again bro, this girl will be the death of you" Red spoke
  "I'm sure of it. But not tonight old friend"
  And as quickly as it came the conversation fell silent as the car moved on through the rain towards Saint Ann's Cathedral.
  A Gothic structure complete with Gargoyle water spouts and spires of bone reaching towards heaven Saint Ann's loomed through the rain, looking more like the gates of hell than the house of God. 
  The men found a spot close to the side door, and failing to notice or maybe to care that it was marked handicapped, Red pulled in.
  "No details. Don't even tell him Molly came back."
  "Sure bro, but it might help if he could lay some hands on her. Maybe cast out the demons, ya know?" Red said flinging his door open and pulling his large girth quickly from the car. Still very agile for a man his age and size, he moved quickly to the entrance at the side of the church and knocked loudly as Tony moved along side him.
  A loud bolt was slid from inside and the door was pushed open.
  "In, in, come on boys get in out of this rain" Sister Mary Katherine said as the two men entered, Red pulling the door behind him.
  "Sister Mary Katherine" Tony said nodding in greeting.
  "Ahhh Tony, dear boy..." She spoke "he waits. Go to him." she said concern written on her face, but her smile tried to cover it.
  And the men headed into the side chapel, where private service was held.
  Each man anointed there head has they entered and kneeled before the crucifix, said there pray and found a pew. Red sitting behind Tony. This routine had been followed since there first night of working together. As a Private Investigator taking some of the more seedy clientele, Tony liked to have a little support. He had Red for the physical, and he had Father Thomas with his blessings for the spiritual. His emotional he sometimes left up to Jose Quervo.
  Father Thomas came out sans vestments sat beside Tony in the pew and stared at the Son on the cross.
  "So blessings or confession?" Father Thomas asked
  "How about blessings, and future forgiveness?" Tony asked, taking a hymnal from the rack on the back of the pew.
  "How about blessings, and a prayer for you for tonight?" Father Thomas asked as he rose and started towards the confessional.
  Tony remained seated, he knew he couldn't confess tonight, he knew that Father Thomas didn't expect him to. He bowed his head one last time, slid out kneeled prayed again and started towards the exit.
  "We good?" Red asked falling in behind Tony.
  "Yeah. Lets get to it then." Tony Said, throwing the doors open just as thunder cracked over head.




So three is posted. I know we want some knee breaking head bashing good times from these boys, but I'm drivin to know them more. I hope you all enjoy this. Thank you for the amazingly supportive comments thus far. I fear to ever have my fiction read. I hate it. Z this chapter is dedicated to you. You asked so long ago for my stories, I hope it was what you expected. ]]> 126591 2008-07-21 23:26:22 one more time
one mor grind
another hustle made

one more check
one more sale
another awesome day

one more night of coming home
no I love yous at the door
one more time I remove my tie
as I wish for something more

I pen these words and melt hearts
I write a ryhme for what?
I talk of love and forever
and wait for my turn to come

I know now that the love I had
for that girl that broke my heart
wasnt love at least for her
for she already lays in her new husbands arms

But I move forward never stopping
with only the occasional glance back
and share my bed from time to time
with a lover that wont last

and everyday I do the same
one more hustle made
and every night I share this bed
with ghosts trapt in my head

and I'm so tired, I'm so wore out
I just want to feel loved
and instead I waste my time
on that which will never come

so if love wins, and a woman wants a good man
than why am I still sitting here?
alone, and crazy and surrounded by ghosts
without so much as a friend near



I had something really good floating around in my head. I had a really good little poem somewhere, but it left me. I just found out Tiffanie married that boy. Yeah dig that for a minute will ya! Didnt take her long did it? I'm more than I've ever been, and I'm more alone than ever

]]> 124741 2008-07-17 15:31:46 If we knew the outcome of a thing would we change it if we could? If love ended in a ball of flames would we stop the fire before it started? Or would we go on doing exactly what it is we do and end up in the same place that we know we'd be in when eveything was said and done? To love, even if we know it will end, truly is better than to have never loved at all


                                                              ( 2 )

   As they drove on in the rain, with the windshield wipers slapping out a rythm, the passing cars and side streets eerly appearing here and there, Tony is lost in the conversation of tonight. After seven years Molly returned to him, but not for him. She returned with a job, and Tony couldn't believe thats all she wanted ,but he knew thats all he could do for her now.
 Red I'm thinking maybe I should handle this one alone, you really dont need to be there." He said still looking out the window, not daring to look at his friend for fear of what may be written on his face
"You're an ass" Red says. "You think I'm worried about the outcome? That girl almost killed you before, and what ever this boy has done might kill you now. No I'd rather be there and make sure you make it, than have to put the pieces together later"
"Red he hurt her..... Bad, listen drive over to Mercy general, I want you to see something"
"Whoa, now you know me and hospitals dont..." Red started
"just go to mercy, it'll be quick" Tony interupted
And Red made the necessary turns and took the streets to Mercy General hospital. Rain still beating against the car, tires plowing through streets flooded by the inadequate gutter system. It was rare to have a summer shower so powerful it shut down the city, and in most cases it would cause concern, but tonight these two men in this boat of a Lincoln thought it the perfect back drop.
Making there way across the third floor to the childrens unit of the ICU they passed parents crying in waiting rooms ,doctors and nurses in various converstaions here and there and a cart with a flower buquet on it. Red started to pick it up, thinking it would be impolite to visit a sick person without bringing something ,then decided against it.
Tony stopped at room 365 and paused for a moment.
"Red there is a very young girl in here, and I promise I'll explain when we leave, try not to scare her if she's awake" the shakiness in his voice alerting Red to the fact that this was no ordinary girl and maybe what ever Tony's got himself into tonight has to do with her.
One last intake of air andf they entered. The lights were dimmed but it wasn't dark. The television was on but it must of been set to mute because no sound emenated from it. In fact the only sounds were coming from the odd and end machines surrounding a bed, tubes and wires a criss cross minagre going in and out of the blankets, and wrapped in the blankets was a little girl.
You could tell right away she was beautiful. She had acherrub face and light brown hair, a cute little turned up nose. She must have been beautiful, but that was before the accident that left here face swollen, one eye completly black, her lip split in the corner and a trace of dried blood rested at the corner of her mouth. She had a knot above her left eye and her arm was in a sling. Red had done a many things to many people. He had left them far more beaten and bloody than this little girl, and he had never lost sleep over anything. He knew tonight he wouldn't sleep.
Red stood silently to the side and Tony proceeded to the bed. He brushed away a strand of hair and looked down at this poor broken angel in her bed.
Red I want you to meet my daughter"
Red loked first at Tony then down at the child in this hospital bed a look of astonishment, of bewilderment etched acroos his face.
"Wha.. what do you mean, your daughter?" He finally stammered as Tony kept his eye's locked onto the girl, obviously trying hard to hold back the tears that were gathering at the corner of his eyes.
"My daughter old friend. Molly's daughter" and Tony turned toward the door to leave, as Red hurridly followed still in shock from the announcement, still dumbfounded by the revelation.
Nothing else was spoken till the elevater doors were closed and the elevater started down, and finally Tont said "Molly was pregnant when she left me, she didint know till weeks later, and the damage was done. She didnt think she could tell me or come back to me, so she had the baby and married that boy she ran off with. Two days ago she tried to leave him. She was tired of the drugs ,of the life he led that her daughter saw daily. She wanted to leave ,not to come to me, but just to leave him. He.. well he tried to beat her Red. That little girl in there tried to stop him and so he beat her. He might have killed her. She's stable now but she has some brain swelling and the doctors think that arm wont ever heal one hundred percent. Molly came to me after they got the girl stable, told me what had happened. Said that she told the police and paramedics that she had fallen down the stairs. She doesnt know what to do"
"Whats her name? The girl I mean.. your daughter. Whats her name" Red said, fire and heartache seething through every sylable
"Her name is Rebecca, Molly calls her Becca."
"Tony my friend, this ones for free"




so this story is maybe finding its way back into my head. I didnt have time to proof read or spell check. I wrote this part on my phone. I hope you enjoy. I'm thinking of calling it "Broken Angel" IDK. here's chapter 2 ]]> 124401 2008-07-16 23:12:08 so when has freedom oh self expression become an excuse to be rude? When has someone posting there story, there thoughts, there hearts and hates become a reason for some to objectifiy or to prey upon them. I have a dear friend who posts her true tale, wether you agree with it or not it is herstory, and she posts pictures with these stories, to add a little more detail, a little more power to the post. Now some one, an old fuck who should have known better and I would have assumed had more respect fpr himself let alone her, has sent her a horribly offensive very demeaning and might I add unwelcome personal messege. so to you happyhippie I give the finger .!.. and to thoughts ,I let them see the true nature of the beast. Here's your friend thoughtsters, love the monster behind the man.


Originally Posted by happyhippie1965
I love your pictures. Do you have any nake pictures of yourself,showing everything?
]]> 123343 2008-07-14 22:26:25 for me its the moment before a kiss, the moment before the rain, the moment before we met. right there in that second before, when all life will change ,when nothing will ever be as it was, that's the best part for me
                          ( 1 )

"So where do we go from here?" she asked as the rain pounded on the bus stops roof.
"We don't, least that's the way I see it" he said, sharply, his clipped tones and southern accent marking his disdain.
"you know I never wanted this, I never meant to fall in love with you" she cried pain written into her words
"well you shouldn't have came to me, we should have left it where it laid, it was fine till you came back" he looked away, knowing her tears would make his anger subside, and right now he needed his anger to do this
"Damn it Tony I didn't know where else to go, he would have killed me, and you said as always"
"That was kid stuff woman, we've grown to old for that. and you married him, I'll tend this Molly ,but you're getting on that bus, and I don't want to see you here anymore" and he walked out into the rain.
As the bus rounded the corner she watched him drawing his rain coat collar up to hide his face. She watched as he disappeared in the deluge and slowly gathered her bag and boarded the bus, not sure what would happen but scared she'd hurt him more tonight than ever she thought a man could hurt.




 _______________________________________________________________________


As the bus pulled out showing a ghostly silhouette with shimmering lights, a car pulls along side Tony and he climbs inside.
"She gone?"the driver asked, through lips tightly holding a barely lit cigar. His red hair cropped short, his gnarled and scarred hands showing the purpose of his work ,or rather the outcome of it.
"Red if she ain't gone, you make her leave" is all that Tony would say as he unbuttoned his coat and got settled.
Red put the big Lincoln in gear and pulled away from the curb, water sloshing as he gained speed. His windshield wipers, no match for the down pour, combined with the steam on the windshield made it impossible to see, but that didn't worry Tony his mind was on tonights events. on how he got here after 7 years of not hearing a thing from the woman who almost killed him.
"So this ain't a freebie you know?" Red finally spoke as an inch log ash fell onto his barrel chest and rolled down to his now going flabby stomach. Red was an armature boxer, but that was ten years ago. These days he made a living as a personal body guard, and some time thug for this crime boss or that. He never let his side work come between him and his best friend since grade school, if Tony needed him, no matter the job, he was there. Of course he still had to pay the rent.
"Is it ever?" Tony replied. "This is personal Red, but I'll pay ya just the same. Did you get the stuff I asked you to bring?" Tony asked




so this is the story I was working on last night. Luckily I had sent it to Molly to read, and she sent it back because I deleted it. It was going to be a story about a Private Eye woh's ex came back after seveen years to tell him that the kid she has was his, and the man she married had hurt the kid real bad. But I lost it ]]> 123056 2008-07-14 10:14:15 For real stop right there. Do not read any farther. This rant contains strong language and explicit content directed towards you, oky maybe not you but that person behind you. Nope it is you, yeah dont read this, it might make you mad.
 Okay you were warned, dont email me later over it.











So last night I was trying to write a bit, see I never intend t owrite anything it literally just comes and I write it ,so last night I was trying to write a bit (repetitive aint I?) and the IM's start flying in. WOOOHOOOO! I got friends! "Hey friend ....yeah I'm writting a bit.... no its cool tell me all about YOUR day, and how bad YOU feel...... right friend its horrible..... hey I'm trying to write a b.....yes friend I think you're a good person..... Friend I'm trying to wr.....Oh yes friend you are special.... Yes friend you are loved...."
 See my freakin problem!? Right so I was sooo in the zone it was coming along so well and the freaking IM's started up, and I try to be polite ,I try to say yeah I'm just a bit busy, and no one freaking hears me!. I closed the damn IM ,I just shuit it down. But it was gone, what ever story was there was gone. I had lost it. I saved what I had and went to bed pissed, and this morning it was still gone so I deleted what I'd saved.
  I love to be the friend ,I want to "save the world" but FUCK!! Here's the deal ,If I got to work, fucking let me work. I got to opay bills the same as you, only difference is I work to do it instead of bitching about doing it. If I say "hey give me a minute" dont give me a whinny ass "but I'm so lonely.." guilt trip bullshit, you know what, you're lonely now, you'll be lonely in three fucking minutes. I will be back, means just that!!! I will, if not, fuck go jump off a bridge. Okay dont jump off a bridge, but for real its not going to end, it will be okay.
  Hey you... yeah you, did I tell you this thing we do means something more? Did I say it was more than a game? NOOOOOOO I did not ,why am I back to being the bad guy? Oh you got your feelings caught up? Yeah see thats what I said would happen and you said it was all in fun. Go back to the Tony haters club I really dont care.
  Oh and look whos back its super victim!! YAY!! lets all go jump on his dick, and tell him how much we love him!!! NO! He never left. He needs this ego stroking to much to ever walk away. So how long do you think it will be before he starts asking for some money? Loser, that one should go jump off a bridge, fuck I'll drive him there.
  and look at all the new talent rolling in, but no we cant, we're stuck in our own little worlds were we got to run to our friends list and tell them how great they are so we dont have time to read true talent because we're to worried about staying popular and liked. "oh I got to see if so and so posted, I simpley must be sure to say hi...." Hi? I thought that was what email was for! Its a comment, oh yeah and its okay to leave a negetive one, in fact if this rant doesnt get a couple "fuck yous" I'll know there aint a set of nuts in all of thoughts.
  So how about this, read somebody that aint on your friends list. Stop looking at the fucking profile before you read them, just see the work for what it is. And be somebody besides the same ol' every body.
 Now some of you have no clue what this is about ,some of you I spoke directly to. Dont read me anymore, get mad and throw fits. GOOD! "Bout time you showed a little character. Now to my friends that I've upset, for real we're friends, and I'd hate to see you bale because I'm a bit pissed, but if this is what it takes to make a friendship end seems to me it wasn't all that great to begin with. 
  My fallen angels, you all will never be a bother. at anytime day or night you need me I'll drop the world to help you. To that crazy chick who might have made up her mind, SHIT that was an ass kickin story I was writting!! Oh well there will be others. To the new talent, those story tellers and those poets of the heart, screw these fucks if they dont read you, they'll be buying your books someday!!! And to everybody else, I do love you, but I got to be pissed every once and awhile!!
  In closing I'd like to say     .!.. ]]> 122424 2008-07-12 18:18:37 Time went by, and he learned her name,
found himself longing to log on.
they'd talk for hours on the computer screen
sharing laughs and stories and favorite songs

she told him once "why dont you call"
and then he neverously said "H-Hello?"
and soon a friendship on the web
saw love starting to grow.

And hours spent talking
sharing stories about there lives
how she was in a horrible marriage
and he had been crushed by an ex-wife

and lunch breaks spent on the phone
and at nights in chatrooms
and eventually it became clear
there was only one thing to do

"I've left him 'Joe'" she finally said
and his heart skipped a beat
"would it be alright if I flew out?
I figure its about time we meet."

And she did that very day,
ordered a one way ticket to love
and when the plane touched down out there
they both found what they'd been dreaming of

"More beautiful than words can express"
he said as he kissed her lips
"my poet even in real life"
she whispered eyes locked to his

and true they'd found what they both needed
in the most unlikeliest place
just hanging out looking to leave a blog
somewhere in cyber space

So to you two I offer this
my most heartfelt blessing
and congatulations for taking a chance
and finding what was missing.



as most of my long time readers know I've wrote about "internet relationships" before. This is just another installment, however I must admit that this one was inspired.
  We take for granted that we will find true love, and for some reason we assume that that true love must live with in a 90 mile radius of us. We take for granted that what we have at home is exactly what we need, but sometimes its really settling for what we know. Bless those with the courage to find love through unconventional means. Admire those that will walk through hell for a "real" love that most think make believe, and bless my friends as they start there journey outside this computer screen. ]]> 121769 2008-07-11 10:07:53 Right so the title's got you wondering dont it?! Well dont. "she" will see, and you will understand shortly.


she sits alone on rivers edge
watching passing boaters
wondering if any of them
have ever lost a lover

she walks through the stores as couples pass
and she tries to hide the hurt
but all she sees is how it used to be
when you would walk with her

She writes her words and tries to live
with ghosts of love thats past
and walks the halls of her home
till sleep finds her at last

But morning light still finds her tears
as loneliness is her burden
and broken wings and broken hearts
and a soul thats still hurtin

I wish her strength as she tries to stand
I pray for her hearts healing
and give her the encouragement
my friends so often gave me.

I'm here for you my new found friend
a true poet of the heart
and I will be here for youstill
a shoulder and a rock.

While thoughts may not be
the perfect substitute
I hope it will be a starting place
to becoming the new you


Now for the explaination,.... there is a new poet among us, and a talent for sure. Go show her your love,  www.thoughts.com/monsters_living/blog  let her know why thoughts is the greatest place on the web. Now you still might not get the title, but hopefully it caught her eye. I wish you well my new found friend, I will remember you in my prayers. Now thoughtsters go do what we do and give her your support. ]]> 120863 2008-07-09 18:32:26 fallen angels fear not
mend your broken wings
let heavens light shine again
on this blessed thing

fallen angels dry your eyes
your wounds will surely heal
Know that in the end
heaven needs you still

fallen angels I'm here to serve
rest now from angel work
let me take care of you till you're ready to fly
and heal your hearts with time

fallen angels God still smiles
and this world is waiting for you
because a world without fallen angels
simply will not do

So heal your wings
rest your hearts
let love find you
and fly my fallen angels
fly to loves truth.



So many hearts are broken, so many people have givin up hope. Rest now, let your heart heal, love will win out. We angels forget that God loves us, we sometimes feel we have fallen from his graces, but our wings will heal, we will fly and love will be found again.
  This was just a little 3 minute ditty that found itself lodged in my head, I hope it dont suck to bad. ]]> 120854 2008-07-09 17:52:11


The playlist says Emerson Drive but Britt Savage did this version. Becca honey life is worth living, and I swear heart ache heals. Keep your head up and dont give up, and the therapy is free;) If you ever need a friend you know how to reach me. ]]> 120662 2008-07-09 07:58:15 Thought I'd grab your attention with the title, but really lets call this.
Thank you friends . Or maybe My morning thus far.



Someone reminded me today of my once favorite saying, my mantra for a time, she told me "love wins". In my attempt (I have recently realized that I am still attempting) to break free of the heartache over losing Tiffanie I made myself get up, I made myself struggle through and I found a good place (maybe not perfect, but it was good) inside me, and it was being here on thoughts, and my friends out there in the world and to some degree it was my writing that got me through all that.
I then found a "heart like mine", broken, yearning, an ability to express emotion. I became infatuated with her, and I do believe I honestly feel in love. It was a torrid affair as many of you know, the back and forth, the smiles the tears. The highs and the lows, and most of you, my friends, my fans and the casual reader gave up watching that.
I woke this morning and opened my thoughts and found that I had 19 comments (thoughtXpress was very bored apparently, but thank you so much for reading me and those wonderful comments......) but one comment, one friend who's watched me fall and rise, and fall again. One friend who's read me even if she didn't like what I had to say, one friend who this morning has moved me to tears touched me deeply by reminding me what I so often would remind others... Love wins.
And it does, so maybe that thing I sought so long and hard, that was always just beyond my reach, that love that I so desperately wanted "her" to give me, maybe it wasn't in her to give, but you know what the love I have still wins. Have you not read the work that came out of us during all that? Did you not see the raw emotion that poured from our souls??? So what!? Maybe I didn't get the girl, and maybe she didn't love me, but love wins. Because it didn't give up, in fact it still is there, I just use my head a bit more these days and it agrees, pain isn't how loves expressed and if she shows her love by hurting herself and the one she loves maybe she doesn't understand love
But (oh lord here it comes....) I digress.....
The point here is angelwings you are a lovely beautiful wonderful person who has reminded me that its okay, that I am strong and that all this was not a waste but it is time to move on (and yes fuckers I know most of my friends have been saying that for awhile, sorry I didn't listen Z and Joe) and thoughtXpress, dear you may never know the full story, just know that two star crossed lovers found something in the Hallowed halls of the house that Ben built, and what ever it was we found will forever have changed our lives.
I intend to be back. I intend to read and write and love and laugh. To cry and fight and defend. I intend to be me again.
I love you all, my friends, my family. Thank you. ]]> 120422 2008-07-08 17:43:49 Song of the day hada great run. No worries, nothings wrong, I just got kinda tired of it. So heres the last posting for SOD and its a funny fucker so enjoy!!!!


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]]> 120013 2008-07-07 23:38:22 shake it off, batterd and bruised
ribs hurt where you hit my heart
and down this lonely road I start


friends come running, try to hold me up
but these kinda cuts I got to let bleed
and I keep on walking down this lonely street


some roads a man must walk alone
some ghosts dont want to leave
and some loves hurt to much
so I walk alone on this lonely street

heartaches are akin to death
only we keep on living
souless and broken
with out our lovers in it

and some roads a man must walk alone
some ghosts wont ever leave
and some loves were doomed from the start
and some souls are born to grieve. ]]> 119531 2008-07-07 02:35:18 I smelled her, just now, I swear I did.
I heard her laugh from down the hall
but thats impossible I'm sure
for ghosts dont exsist

I saw her just now, from the corner of my eye
she was there in the hall way
I saw her go by

she whispered in my ear, but theres no one here!!!
The ghosts

I felt her here, I feel her now. Memories come flooding back, and brings with them an all to real image. It hurts to bad to tell tonight. It hurts to bad to think. it all must come to a close. Games played, hearts as toys, relationships made and others destroyed,. Constant circle, cycle unending and I see her from the corner of my eye. I wont be back this week.

]]> 118616 2008-07-04 18:33:29 she said "hey cowboy why're you standing alone"
I said "my lover dont love me"
she said "well I got no one to stand with either
would you like some company?"

she let me call her darlin
she let me hold her close
she made me feel like someone
when I was standing alone

she said "why dont you have a friend here?"
I siad"she's got better things to do."
she said "then let me be your friend dear"
and I almost forgot about you

she smiled as the music played
fireworks over head
we sang most ever song we knew
and talked like old friends

she said "the bars still open cowboy,
be a shame not to dance"
and she took my hand and let me lead her
as I gave life one more chance

she kissed me as the song was ending.
she said"how about some breakfast"
I grinned a devilish grin
as I knew where this night would lead us

the lights went down and we found the bed
and I trimbled as I whispered
"I'm not sure I can do this"
as I softly kissed her

we found the moment we both needed
and sleep soon found ourselves
and in the morning we'll lie to each other
about how wonderful it felt

but fireworks are for lovers
and so I wanted to know
if maybe there was something here
besides your haunting ghost
(the next morning)
she said "cowboy think you'll call sometime"
and I told her "probably never"
she said "well we had last night
but I guess your heart still has her"

and I kissed her cheek as she walked me out
and said "thanks for last night"
she said "that foolish girl you're stuck on
doesnt deserve the right

you're beautiful, cowboy
like sun set on rivers edge
and if she cant realize just how good
then she deserves what she gets

so keep my number cowboy
maybe your heart wont mind
if you come bak to see this girl
and pretend to be mine somtime"

and I smiled as I started the truck
and tucked her number away
cause maybe, just maybe
I found independence today


A friend told me the other night fireworks are for lovers and as I ready myself to enjoy tonights celebration its only to clear how alone I am. Maybe this is, presumptuous or maybe its prophetic, or maybe its a hopeful rhyme and I just had to pen it. Look for more sparks than the fireworks in the sky, and if they want to dance, lead them through the night. ]]> 118513 2008-07-04 12:23:49


Rainy Friday on this independence day and I'm feeling the weather. I shoot this song out to no one in particular, but its to everyone just the same. This is B I G broadcasting from high atop thoughts mountain bringing you the hits that spin my soul. Love on thoughtsters, and just hang ]]> 118171 2008-07-03 17:21:53



thanks for tunning into WTHOUGHTS, I'm your host B I G and your listening to the songs that spin my soul. This next song is a favorite of mine, and I'm sure you'll love it to. So special dedication going out to my song bird, here's Alison Krauss with "Let Me Touch You For Awhile"
 Love on thoughtsters, and may they always move your heart to sing ]]> 117817 2008-07-02 23:53:47 she sings to me like the hosts of heaven
her sweet angelic voice.
and the very song she's chosen
couldnt have been a better choice

"now you'll always have
my voice when you cant have me"
and tears fell from my eyes
as the office never felt so lonely

pictures,songs and words in print
amazing as they are
only bring to mind dear lover
the misery of our hearts

Tormented we stand forever apart
prisoners of circumstance
like looking out over the fields
at true love in the distance

Why are we sleeping apart
when in my arms you should be
instead of where you are tonight
as I try to find some sleep

so read this ryhme that you've interrupted
and see how silly this is
that we know we love each other more
than life has to give

yet we deny our hearts true passion
for things that dont even exsist
and love in our misery
remebering a teary kiss ]]> 117490 2008-07-02 10:10:28

Wednesday, hump day, its all down hill from here!!! Friday's coming, the fourth baby!! But we still got to knock out the rest of this week. Thanks for tunning into WTHOUGHTS, I'm your host B I G broadcasting from high atop thoughts mountain bringing you the hits that spin my soul. Thought I'd slow it down for us a bit today, so stop for a minute, and listen to the lyrics. Here's Snow Patrol "Set the fire to the third bar". Big thank you goes out to Z for turning me onto this group, love ya like crazy babe, cant wait till you're walking these halls full time again. So love on thoughtsters, even if they're miles from where you are. ]]>