There are a group of people, ghosts really, with sunken, sad eyes, slumped shoulders, vague looks and slow walks.  They are mostly women, but, most certainly, not exclusively.  They wander up and down hallways at all times of the day and night.  Their conversation is somewhat limited and the only time you will ever see their faces animated is when they come face to face with someone so very much smaller than themselves.  These are the parents of premature babies. 

After a terrifying night including a helicopter ride, emergency Caesar and many things that I am still trying to forget, I delivered a beautiful baby girl almost 10 weeks early.  It was a night that has changed our lives forever and I am going to try to explain the thoughts, emotions and experiences we will go through while we are, ourselves, ghosts who walk...

To paraphrase Dickens, to begin this blog at the beginning of this blog, I am pregnant.

This will be our 5th child and I am in my 40's.  Whilst every child is a loving committment, this time the committment seems even larger.  Maybe it is because I am older and fear that I won't make the distance to see the grandchildren etc of this little bundle.  Maybe I am even more set in my ways and will find it difficult to bend and grow as I need to with this baby.  Maybe I am just full of it...

Whatever the case I just knew that I wasn't ready to give up on having another baby and lo and behold the Universe agreed with me.  A great rarity in itself!  So I am pregnant and I am sick.  Really sick.  I managed to get through the first month or so without too many problems but as soon as month two really kicks in I am couch bound with the back of my hand on my forehead, moaning and just being a general pain in the rear!  Poor husband and children.

We have four other children, two grown and flown, and two little ones - 4 & 2.  The little ones are boys at war, mainly with each other.  However from time to time the conflict spills over and envelops the parents.  So trying not to vomit and stay on my feet while mediating WWIII proves to be very difficult and somewhat tiresome.  Thankfully this only lasts for another 11 weeks or so, give or take a day.  Why can't you just be put into the drug induced coma and woken when all is well again!  Surely that can't be too much to ask of modern medicine.

Meanwhile our eldest daughter is getting married and luckily the morning sickness (read 24 hour a day sickness) is starting to abate by the time the Wedding comes around.  So the mother of the bride is also a mother to be.  I am sure that can't happen too often.  It is a wonderful day and one that we will remember with love and joy always.  Our eldest son gave a reading, and the two little warriors wore their kilts and walked down the aisle carrying the rings.  Not many things could have upstaged the bride that day but they came awfully close.  & Our new little bundle stayed safe and warm in utero however it did let out an enormous shot of hormones and I spent the whole day in a flood of happy tears!  Why are women so pathetic???