The last oh, 4 years of my life, have proven this to me. I feel like I went through my rough, adolescent time of life late. I went through the turmoil of making dumb decisions (like spending 30,000+ dollars on an undergrad education in loans) and moving to Seattle for school only to fall "in love" (which I might add was a joke in the end...ok a joke is a bit harsh, just a joke of a guy...) and move back home to be closer to him and then to have him break my heart...then comtinue to be in love with him and in bitterness/upset along with still loving him dearly, I let him use me 9 months later...only to finally realize this guy sure wasn't the pastor's kid who claimed to have my best interests in mind upon breaking up with me...life started stabilize as I finished up my senior year in college and found what I wanted to do the rest of my life (social work!) and decided to move straight to graduate school...life went along just fine as I met a fine gentleman who has treated me with the respect and dignity that ALL men should be held to in their relationships with all women and who I am madly in love with despite my bad love experience prior to him. I sure am a difficult girlfriend and I wish I could give him the emotional encouragement he has given to me....then I began to realize and continue to realize the reality of MONEY in my life. I have very little, my education has left me zapped of any wealth from working full-time for the government, and the guy I'm marrying is in just as bad a picture.

And yet I don't want to live without him so we'll make it work.

And yet I just re-read some emails from my ex from over a year ago and I found myself amazingly emotional. I don't know why...

Minds can stop thinking about people and memories can grow dim,

but I'm pretty sure the heart remembers the joys and the sorrows for a lifetime...

and then I wonder if I have unresolved issues if I can still feel so strongly about a past relationship 2 1/2 years passed...

Good thing I believe there's meaning to all of this madness....