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This holiday season is very difficult - my dad died 6 months ago and I had my first Thanksgiving without him in a very long, long time. Next it will be Christmas, my first in 41 years is going to be spent without him, I won't shop for him, I wont see him open his present and see the look on his face. Then in January it will be his birthday, another repeat of Christmas. I know people lose people every single day of the week and are experiencing what I am going through, it just really sucks. I can't or don't want to get into the "spirit" of things, even though I have a child I am having a hard time pulling it together. Here is hoping next year is a better year. To all of those who are feeling the same sense of loss, take comfort in knowing you are not alone.
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Posted by thoughts41day on 2007-12-01 20:15:50 | Rating: | Views: 83
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im really not a holiday person at all for any holiday...my family isn't much of a family so every holiday was ruin'd by fighting and arguing and stuff...and i have 2 lil ones and i try hard to get gear'd up for it but never works...thought i was ready till the lights started going up..not as ready as i thought...im am sorry to hear bout your loss..and yes it happens and it ok not to like it when it does...but keep the memories close to ur heart and maybe invite a moment of silence on xmas to invite the spirit of your father to feast and he can open the prestent of your love and thoughts though on the other side now
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Posted by genesis1693
on 2007-12-01 21:59:52
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The "firsts" are always be hard - First Christmas, First anything. My Dad died Dec 22nd last year - last Christmas was a blur, so this year feels like my first Christmas without him.
I was feeling sad over not getting to buy him the gifts he could always count on from me (coffee, chocolate, etc), and I didn't realize how much he was the glue that held our family together until he was gone.
It's okay that you're not able ot "get into it" this year - your heart needs time to be sad, and feel the loss. Over time, you will create new memories, and the old ones will feel a little less painful, and a little more joyful.
Can you do something on his Birthday that he would have enjoyed? My Dad loved gourmet coffee - so I bought some that I knew he'd like, and had a cup on his birthday (we used to sit and chat over coffee). It helped me feel a little closer to him. It might sound silly, but it helped.
Take care of your heart - let yourself feel sad - honoring your grief is the only way to get through it.
*hugs*
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Posted by Shallandra
on 2007-12-01 22:39:37
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I am very sorry for your loss. I just lost my mother on the 28th of Nov. I wish Christmas would just go away.
I know I should have posted a comment that comforted you, but your last sentence comforted me.
Thank you.
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Posted by sorrelponylover
on 2007-12-02 11:51:24
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