There has been a lot that has gone on in the last few days. I attenended my first supposrt gruop on Saturday the 16th. It was actually very informative and I left there feeling quite confident in having the procedure and the recovery time being an easy one. There was a clothing exchange that meeting. The have one quarterly. I did get a few items and I met a very nice lady named Diane. I also finally met Carol who is the lady I first contacted when I got the ball rolling on this thing back last year. Yes it has taken me one year of work to see this come to fruition. All in all it was a good meeting.
I had my first doctor's meeting yesterday November 20, 07. Well that was a doozy. It was going well until I had to go in to see the psych. . I decided that this was the time to be compleatly honest with myself and my odd relationship with food. And I was.
It was very painful experience and I did not want to do it, it was like admitting my last secret that I wanted nobody to know. I was ashamed. But I know if I am not honest my surgery will never work and God knows I do not want to spend 40, 000 and fail at this too. It means too much to me and my well being. I have to know that I can succeed at this. I mean shit If I can not control my own weight by means of a medical procedure I am a fucking F.A.I.L.U.R.E.
I am starting to ramble where was I sorry...oh yea,
So I found out I am Bulemic and now I have to go to therapy starting next week. Yea... yesterday was just extrememly emotional and then on top of that I had a crappy attitude and took all of my irritablitiy out on my boyfriend and end up fighting ALL day. I gulp down some Taco Beuno beans and half of thier tamale platter with a strawberry soda. I go to bed around 7:30 cause I am so exhausted thinking damn I am a mean horrible witch why does he even put up with me.
So that has been my last few days on the road to RNY...
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