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I have never really blogged regularly untill now.
untill now when i have been told to seek professional help for depression.
so i figure if i can blog and express myself this way it may end up being theraputic for me.
IT HAS DAWNED ON ME THAT I HAVE NO FRIENDS.
I just realized it one day when I was feeling so down and really had no one to talk to about it.
I know people.People know me.I have my family who loves me greatly.BUT I HAVE NO FRIENDS.
I MEAN REAL FRIENDS.PEOPLE WHO I CAN RELY ON.PEOPLE WHO WILL COME LOOKING FOR ME IF I DON'T CALL. OR EMAIL.
OTHER THAN MY FAMILY I'M SURROUNDED BY CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES.
THERES NO REAL TIES.NO TIES THAT AREN'TÂ EASILY BROKEN BY ABSCENCE.
HOW DID I GET HERE?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
THINKING BACK ON MY LIFE ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE SEEMED TEMPORARY.JUST THERE BECAUSE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.CHANGE THE CIRCUMSTANCES,AND THEY ARE GONE.FRIENDS NO MORE.
I FEEL LONELY.I'M NATURALLY A QUIET SECRETIVE ALOOF PERSON.BUT I'VE BARED MY SOUL TO THE WORLD IN RECENT YEARS AND THERE HAS BEEN NO RESPONSE.
I FEEL LIKE I'M ALONE.
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Good idea about blogging. It does help when you're depressed. I started blogging just because of depression and now I have fun with it.
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Posted by Spook
on 2008-04-22 15:26:49
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It's strange to finally find someone I can completely identify with. It gives me a sense of relief. Idk where to begin...I have a loving family and I also pretty much have casual acquaintances, friends who'll be there for you during the easy times but nowhere to be found during the hard times. I've gotten really good at pretending I'm ok, that I'm happy, so good that ppl think i'm perfectly fine. I've had close friends but they either move away or some type of shit goes down..everythings temporary, nothing is solid. And recently I feel theres no one I can talk to about that ugly side...the stuff that isn't as easy to deal with, the things you only tell that one person who is willing to put the effort into dealing with something that can't be solved with a simple "Things will lighten up". It's not that i'm socially inept but I feel as if I haven't been able to hold on to anyone in my life. I've had the chance to bring ppl closer recently but I auto sabotage myself. I don't wanna let anyone in cuz I don't wanna get hurt. I don't wanna let anyone see what I am when I'm alone and utterly exposed...Tell me more about yourself though, I'm here and I'm willing to listen.
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Posted by Keepit2myself
on 2008-05-11 00:33:22
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| Views: 88
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