| View Blog
|
|
|
|
| The Pickle Musical...? |
this is the most random thing ever. I wrote it, I guess, but I don't really know why.....
Amanda: ma, i think i have lice [scratches head]
Ma: no amanda, you do not have lice
A: ma, i think i have a temperature [feels head]
Ma: no amanda, you don't have a temperature
A: ma, i think i have polio
Ma: please shut up amanda and go to school. i made your lunch [hands her brown paper bag]
A: omg you just told me to shuddup
Ma: youre going to be late for school
A: whatever. i'm gonna revert to cannibalism and eat you and yer gonna die
CHANGE SCENE: AT SCHOOL CAFETERIA
A: yay it's lunch. wad she pack me? [opens bag and pulls out jar] ugh. ugh. ugh. it's probly poisoned. [opens jar, pulls out pickle] oh. my. God.
Friend: like, what are you grumbling about now?
A: oh. my. God.
Friend: WHAT!?
A: oh. my. God. it's a pickle.
~SONG STARTS UP~
[spoken:]
we're just sittin here, right?
just sittin
and then there's this big green log
i mean it looked like a lumpy crap
except...
eat-able
yah....
OH. MY. GOD. it's a pickle.
[sung:]
i'm allergic to pickles
i'm allergic to pickles
and she packs me one in my lunch
and it's the only thing
that's really messed up.
i mean what does she think?
she wants me to go anorexic or something?
i'm not fat. i'm not fat.
i can take a hint
she's my mother
that's really wrong
now i really do have to eat her.
i'm gonna send my army of bog people out to get her
oh yah, then she'll be sorry
i'm allergic to pickles
it's just like we're sitting here
and this pickle pops up
omg, i think it's
STALKING YOU.
i mean it's just like what the hell?
i'm gonna get her back
what's she trying to do?
kill me?
pickles are these weird green THINGS.
i'm going to attack her with a vast army of oven mitts and ninjas
maybe i could use evil rugelach to bite her head off?
or i could jab her with a shoehorn.
i just can't believe it!
she gave me a pickle.
pickle.
pickle.
[a gospel choirs sings this:]
weird green things
they have lumps
evil pickles will attack you, amanda
[amanda sings]
she gave me a pickle!
i'm allergic to pickles
i'm allergic to pickles
they taste like diarrhea.
i'm allergic....
oh my God..
it's a pickle.
Amanda [speaking]: my own flesh and blood is trying to kill me. or make me starve. or make me starve, then kill me. and roast me on a spit.
Friend: uh, amanda?
A: what?! i'm having a moment of longing for world domination.
F: i think she gave you the wrong lunch.
A: wha?
F: the bag says "marty"
A: [looks at bag] oh. oh good. now i won't have to eat her.
F: [nods; goes back to eating]
[gospel choir:]
sheep innards!
i was like what the heck i WROTE this??? lol commentz please
|
|
Posted by thefantasy on 2009-11-01 23:25:29 | Rating: | Views: 57
|
|
| |
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
