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Urgh.

I'm trying everything to keep from thinking about you, but of course I'm having second thoughts. Like always.
Stupid me.
Stupid me.
Stupid me.
Stupid me.
Stupid me.
Stupid me.
Guh I just wish that you would go away and let me move on. Get out of my head, quit calling. Everything. I thought I was doing this to be happy. Obviously it's just causing me to be more sad. Did I do the right thing? Or did I just fuck up the best thing thats ever happened to me, like I do all the other good things that happen to me? Seriously, all I want to know is where in life I went so wrong that I have to diserve feeling like this. I thought I was doing a good job at life lately. I fixed all my problems, I straightened my life out, yeah I got into some bad things, but Im done with that. Im trying to be a good person. So why does this have to hurt so bad?
I dont want it too anymore. Why can't I just let go and feel free and happy of all these things. Or maybe I was supposed to stay with you, and be unhappy and put up with hurting and crying, and being told what to do. But I'm sorry, 'cause thats not what I want. That's not who I want to be.

Please God, just let me get this right. Just let me feel alright.