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Thats what I am or at least was. A walking contradiction. And I can add " partly truth and partly fiction ".
Because of my past, I grew up harden towards the world and the people in it. I learned to hate far too young in my life.
I trusted very few and those that I did trust, I still had my guard up just in case.
I suspected almost every girl I knew of cheating on me and most of them did.
Those that were true, I still suspected and I know that was unfair.
The " so called " adults " in my life, for the most part a major disappointment to me and I wished I would never grow up to be one.
I trusted almost nobody.
While all this was happening, I became the " trusted one " in the group/crowd I hung with.
The girls would confide in me their inner most secrets knowing I would never betray them.
The guys would look to me to keep them out of trouble when they had a bit to much to drink at parties or dances. Even the police would tell me to make sure I got my friends home safety.
I was trusted by everyone but I trusted very few.
I knew how to defend myself and was without fear.
I'd never back down. I was in two major fights in my life, both times I put the other person in the hospital. Thats nothing to brag about but its the truth. I've been able to walk away from trouble or talk my way out of it for this very reason and thats a good thing.
But I can also tear up when I see or hear of something sad.
When children are hurting, I'm hurting too.
Children who are so sick that they can't do what I did, really affect me the most. I just melt at the sight of children in a wheelchair, blind or deaf.
I wish I could wave my sword and fix them all, to make it all gone but I know I can't.
So as you can see, this guy, from the wrong side of town, who can easily get " in someones face ", can also stop to befriend and help anyone less fortunate then himself.
Yes..." a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction".
The fiction part is simply that I would dream of a place where everyone was kind and caring towards each other. There would be no pain or suffering of any kind in this place. So you see Mr Walt Disney, I had the first " Fantasy World ".
so until I blog at you again,
take care of yourself,
and each other......templar
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you have a kind soul, you sound alot like me growning up,never trusting but the one people dump all there problems on,,man if you knew my whole story, dont let the world change you, peace,there i go,,when im in pain, i try to encourage others i guess thats how im wired,,,,have a sweet day,
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Posted by bjm1
on 2008-04-20 12:12:43
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You were not wrong to not trust in a lot of people. I trusted everyone and am still dealing with what I let in. At least you have a heart. There seems to be a shortage of people you can trust. Or I look in all the wrong places. Truth is I never really looked I just let everyone in that wanted in.
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-04-20 19:08:14
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There is always more room in a broken heart. Broken hearts allow for the flow of the old out and the new in, until it is cleansed healed and broken open again but his time for sharing we call it perfect love
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Posted by lampoil
on 2008-04-24 02:13:43
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| Views: 82
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