Hi, I'm new at this blogging thing, so bare with me as I am sure it will be boring to most.  I'm going to let you in on the life of a fat mom that wants desperately to be skinny (well slender).  I'm sick of being fat I've been fat since I was in Kindergarten ( I remember when Casper came out wanna know why? Because I gained the nick name "Fatso" like the ghost in the movie).  Fat is not so much as it is sad.  I look at myself in the mirror and think disgusting pig, and then I go and binge on some comfort food (I'm from the south so I'm not talking remotely healthy give me something fried greasy and fattening).  I recently had a daughter she is the light in my life ( 6 months old) and I'm worried to death that she will follow in my footsteps.  That's why I am starting this blog.  I'm hoping that if I find someone (you the general public) to be responsible to other than myself.  My husband bless his heart I love him to death and he says I'm fine, but of course I can not see this "fine" I see the other F word "Fat".  I have exercised watched what I ate and so much more, but all in failure and weight gain!!! 

So here's my goal to make you laugh (like when I tell you about trying to get my pants on or when I've worn extra long shirts to work so I could where a pair without buttoning them (sad I know)); to make you look at your life (are you happy with who you are or do you need to change something?); to make you mad (my comments are sure to tick a few people off I'm good at it suggestion: don't read it if you don't like it simple enough); and possibly to make you feel (I'm not looking for sympathy but empathy here we lack emapthy in today's world).

SO without further delay I begin:

My fat condition began when I was 5, when I started school and became seditary.  It has worsend to the point that I'm 5'6"  and 275 pounds and were a size 22-24 in women's pants (in fact my only good feature are my DD's).  Although I get a lot of remarks of no way...I'm tellin ya way if you don't see it it's because you ain't seen the other side of me.  Now many people believe that fat is a condition of lazy people.  I beg to differ.  I don't feel that I'm lazy but I have a food problem: I eat.  Plain and simple some people turn to drugs some turn to alcohol and some to work I turn to food.  Mad? Eat a huge plate of Noodles and Sauce that'll cheer me up.  Sad?  How about a full bag of chocolate.  Angry? Give me some chips and salsa Depressed?  Well that's just about whatever I can get my hands on.  And if I manage to order healthy well then there's the issue of the "you must clear your plate" syndrom that I have developed.  If it's put in front of me I will eat it, without a doubt I don't care if my pants are about to burst a button.

So why the sudden desperation to change ( a few may ask)? Well my daughter.  1) I want to be a good example..if I'm fat and immoble what kind of example is that? 2) I don't want her having the issues that I have (Food..where...sure I'll eat it or you know the all to common low self esteem) 3) For my husband lets get real being fat well it takes a little bit from the sex life if your not huffin and puffin then your bellies in the way (ok so the last part is a little exaggration but I would like to make it better)

So some may ask why I have a dependency on food....I don't know probably something from my childhood.. my mom has the same dependency.

My Goal: To lose ruffly 140 pounds (give or take 10) by well we'll be realistic and I'll say by the time my daughter is 3..perferably 2 1/2 How?  Exercise and food portion control (the latter being the harder.) I will have to find new ways to cope with stress but I know it can be done. 

Your role? To read simply put read and give some encourgment or tell me how stupid you think this is I don't care....this is my way of commuting to you and oh yeah letting it all out.