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I guess some wishes really do come true

When i made that last post, it was actually march 30th, but me, being the moron i am on occasion, made it just for me to see somehow.

I worked for about 10 hours today, and in between going to the office and leaving work (they are 2 separate places) I stopped at the hospital to visit my Nana. So i turned off my cell, as i always do when i go there. I was there visiting for about an hour or so. When i talked to her on the phone yesterday, she sounded like she was on death's door. She asked me to bring her the paper from sat, as well as one from today. It was a nice visit and by the time i was leaving she was almost falling asleep but boy was she in a good mood!

So i left there, and lo and behold i had a voice message, but i have to check it through a land line, but i hoped it was from him.... So after a debate in my mind for a few mins i tried calling, because dammit, even if it wasn't from him, it was a jolly good excuse to call him! And bah! there was no answer, so i figured it wasn't from him then. So off i go to the office and my boss and ex-boss were there, so we gabbed for awhile and my phone rings... its him =) I asked if he had tried calling me, and it was him but he had gone out shopping and just got back, did i want him to put the coffee on? Well of course i did, and said i'd be there in about 20 or so, it ended up being a bit longer, but it was as soon as i could break away.

So i got there and we just chatted about nothing much, but it was just so nice. He didn't even ask me, but he made supper, and a fair amount as well, so i ate there. It was unexpected but so nice. After though i was getting so sleepy, as i'd been up for 13 hrs and i was just so comfy sitting there beside him, i got up and said i had to go. I really didn't want to, but i felt it was best, 1- so i didn't fall asleep there, and 2- because i never like to overstay my welcome. He doesn't make me feel that way at all, but sometimes you just never know. He asked what i was up to and just said, i had to go home finish my laundry and take a nice hot bath, just do something to wake myself up. I might of hinted that while bathing i was gonna try out the new waterproof toy i bought and named after him *well a certain part of him*. I'm terrible and shouldn't force this issue, but i can't help being me.   I told him i'd bring over a coffee later if he wanted, and he said sure.

So i went home, had my hot bath, and even tried it out as i hinted at, i wasn't really horny but i figured it was better then not doing it and being VERY horny later if i went back there.....

So we chatted on msn for a bit and i told him i was gonna go grab some gas and bring a g/f a coffee, did he want one? He said sure and i was there about an hr later.   He was looking through some old photos, he thought i was bored, but i wasn't. It was nice just to be there and "hang".

The last few weeks he's been distant in his voicing any feelings of me, but tonight he actually said those words to me once again. I honestly think i'm setting myself up for a huge disappointment, in regards to my want AND need of him, but i just don't give a rats ass about that right now. Its so all about him right now, and i am never like this, its scaring me a little. Okay, a lot. Hell it scared the fuck outta me and look what the hell i did, i'm such a fucking ass sometimes. I'm so scared that i might get hurt, i sabotage anything good that comes to me. Will i ever learn my lesson? I"m trying but its always too little to late with me. But still i hope it's not. Time will tell, i'm not giving up without a fight. So i left after awhile, as i'm so dead tired but i just don't want to pull myself away from him but work at 6am so its another 4 hrs of sleep for me. But he's worth it! He always asks me to call when i get home, so i did, without the usual hard time i give him about me being a big girl and think i can find my way home.   His parting remark was talk to you tomorrow, i love you.

So lets review, i wished he would call and invite me for dinner. He DID call, didn't invite me for dinner yet i had supper there. We spent about 5 hours together today. If i wasn't so tired it might of been more. I wish the same or more for tomorrow, but i think i have to limit myself, at least for tomorrow, as i need to catch up on my sleep soon, i've just felt so drained lately i need a breather for me. But i am so powerless right now against him.
I adore that man.

Tomorrow comes soon, and maybe more time with him, I hope. I'll wish something else, but i know that one won't come true.. yet, if at all.
Oh yeah, when i left his place 2 nights ago, i got a kiss, well 2 actually, but one real one. Really good one. I think he's playing with me now.