Thoughts.com Blogs - Kansas City, Missouri

Lynda and I were woken by the best alarm call ever: Kenny Miller`s strike to put Scotland 1-0 up against Ukraine.    This got me out of bed, but Lynda didn`t really stir until 2-0.     Will had tuned in to the fabulous updates from Talk 107 and thank god for them or we would have been totally isolated from the whole event.   We checked out of Nebraska at 2-1 and headed to Old Navy. Let`s just say it was an expensive morning and even the massive trunk of the SUV is struggling to contain Lynda`s entire new wardrobe.   I kid you not, she’s got sooooo much luggage that between her and I, we still can’t carry it.   Bear in mind we only have two paws between us.

Heading out of Kearney we were, once again, faced with the Great Plains and the flat, flat land that leads toward the neighbouring state of Iowa.     We drove through Lincoln and Omaha before leaving the state and entering Iowa.   It was just as bloody flat as Nebraska, so no more interesting driving conditions for me. It`s more difficult than you’d think just to keep awake.     At one point, Lynda and Will ganged up on me to take the piss out of my driving. I had a guy in the outside lane that refused to move in to let me past.   They were asking me if I could see the colour of his pants cos I was so close. Lynda was desperate for the toilet, so I made her wait for ages to punish her for having the brass neck to criticise my driving.   Luckily, she had MC Hammer trousers on so I figured she could just hide it in there if she couldn’t wait any longer.   She’s been very complimentary since.    Something tells me she won`t try it again.    We’ve spent five days being instructed by Susan (the TomTom voice) telling us where to go in her clipped and slightly nippy voice.   We finally sacked her today after she told me three times in a row to turn left and I got the feeling she was Will in disguise.      I’ve ditched her in favour of Mandy, who’s much more relaxed and easy going. I reckon if I made a wrong turn, she’d be cool with it and just tell me to make a U-turn wherever I felt like it. Susan, on the other hand, was really scathing and I could just tell she was thinking `bloody woman driver` every time I wasn’t instantly doing what I was told.      We arrived in Kansas City at 5:45pm and ducked down to the bar for some drinks. For the first time since we arrived, I’m not due to drive first thing the next day, so could actually have a few beers.   We had some fun at the bar spotting potential serial killers and the mullets that seem so popular in these parts.   Missouri State was on TV in a college football game against Oklahoma, so it was fairly rowdy. Think they were getting humped by the time we left.   The hotel has a huge pool and hot tub, but it was like children soup all night and not worth going down to cos i`d have ended up drowning a few.    I love kids. I’ve got a late start tomorrow as we’re off to Arrowfield Stadium at 10:30am to pick up tickets for Kansas City Chiefs vs. Cincinnati Bengals. Both teams are pretty rank at the moment, so could be quite high scoring.    Given you can drink all the way through, no doubt the drive to Des Moines will be hell for me as I’ll have two drunken passengers. I reckon that might get me new shoes also. Honestly, my hubby has no idea the trouble his credit cards will be in the minute I hit Michigan Avenue.   I can’t wait.

For my close family members:   my paw is killing me, but my painkillers are keeping me sane. I`ve not really had to use the left hand much to steer because of the automatic and the fact that the roads are so straight so far.    My wound is scarring up nicely, but I still can’t move my wrist all the way round and have no movement at all on the vertical movement.   On the plus side, I bought new jammas and they have Jake dogs on them.      Life is good

Suz, Will and Lynda xxxx