So, here's the summary: As much as boys like to blame girls for drama, boys do create drama.  Prom.  Pretty much synonymous with drama. 

Guy friend and I decide we should be each other's back up dates last summer.  One of our mutal friends wants to go with him.  I start looking for a new prom date so she can have my friend.  I find one.  I tell boy, he tells me he was going to ask this weekend.  I feel bad. I ask him if he wants to go with her.  He talked with her a couple months ago and agreed to go with her if he didn't have a date (aka, if I got one).  It turns out that he can't go with her, his dad is extremely racist and won't let him go with a girl of a different ethnicity.

I think he's lying.  I think he likes me.  That is partly why I got a new prom date, I didn't want to lead him on or anything.  Plus, we had agreed to be backup dates, not exclusive dates.  Reasons why I think he likes me: I had a new lotion and said "I smell good today", his reply, "you smell good everyday"... awkward.  He pets me all the time, like literally, he'll stand behind me if I'm sitting and stroke my head.  He and I go way back together, so we have things that we talk about and we make fun of each other (people say we act like a quarrelous old married couple...).  We're comfortable with each other, or we were before I started noticing how he hung on my every word and tried to be near me at all times.

Now I think I made him sad.  It makes me feel like a horrible person.  He acts downtrodden now, and doesn't say much.  I feel really bad, but at the same time, I don't know what else I would have done.  It seemed like we had a win-win situation, where he and our friend could go to prom, I wouldn't have to deal with awkwardness, and we would all have a good time.  Unfortunately, proms can never be like that.

To continue drama.  I was asked to prom yesterday night, my date asked in cute way.  I need to think of a way to say yes, I already have an idea.  He likes baking, so I'll incorporate that somehow... does anyone know how to make different parts of a cake brown differently?  That way I can have him bake it to spell "Yes"... He asked me after he was leaving a gathering of my friends (he's from a different school, and I know him through one of my other friends). 

During this gathering, there was the guy that I mentioned liking in March (Life throwing curveballs).  I sat next to him during the movie that we watched.  Like, really, right up next to him.  My prom date had to leave early, so I had to get off the extremely packed couch and abandon my seat, which was quickly filled when everyone shifted over to have more space.  When I came back, obviously, my seat was gone.  I threatened to sit on the guy's lap by bending over on him.  He didn't move, so I just sat on him.  He didn't try to push me off or anything, so I just watched the rest of the movie like that.  We talked throughout the movie (people kept telling us to shut up... haha)  After the movie, we continued talking about random stuff.

Once ther was more room on the couch, I slid off his lap to the space next to him.  He then proceeded to tickle me.  In order for him to stop, I had to hold his hands and try to prevent them from getting too close.  He would try to wriggle free and tickle me some more.  What ended up happening though, is that I would use my elbow to tickle him back.  So, both of us are at one end of the couch screeching and giggling, and the other end of the couch is telling us to shut up and get a room. (It was pretty late at this point, but he and I are both night people).  We were both getting pretty hot and sweaty because we're basically wrestling each other (I'm sore today).  We would stop for a while, I asked him, "Truce?"  He said, "That word is not in my vocabulary."  Then he would continue until I could get both his hands again.  He finally stopped tickling me when I was wedged up next to him under his left arm, just like you see in mushy chick-flicks when the guy has his arm draped over his girl.  He was holding both my hands.

I have to admit, I liked it.  Really liked it.  Here was a guy that I have had a crush on for a while, and we're wrestling, laughing, and holding hands.  He would play with me after we were in that arm around shoulder position, but not tickle me anymore.  He would make me punch myself in the boob (what a dick), and I would "almost" hit him in the balls for it.  He would playfully make my hand hit the couch in simple rhythms, shake my hand and see my fingers wave in the air reflexively.  I asked him if he was making me conduct.  He told me he didn't know how to, so I taught him the motions.  It was weird, like he had forgotten why we were holding hands in the first place.

I don't think he likes me, which is fine.  I think he likes any girl he can get his hands on.  (he didn't feel me up or anything beyond the boob punch)  I just really enjoyed the physical contact.  I don't think I've done anything like that in months.  Both my exboyfriends and I had games like what we just did.  With my first, we had a poking game where we would do exactly what it sounds like, poke each other... normally the resolution was a kiss, or bombardment of them.  With my second ex, we would wrestle each other to see who would be on top or bottom.  This game was like a mix of both.

You're probably asking, why don't you go to prom with this guy? (Or maybe you weren't... I'm kinda pretentious that way...) Well, it's beause he refuses to go to prom, with anyone.  He is dead set against it.  I'm just afraid that he'll be at home alone drinking.

That's the problem I have with him.  Well, actually there are a number of reasons why I could not go out with him.  Of course, because I'm going to college soon, and do not want to start a relationship, because he drinks, because he smokes, because he had a girlfriend a while ago for the sole purpose of sex... I don't want to be just another girl to him, or to anyone.  I think that's the biggest part, to him I would be replaceable.  But underage drinking and in general smoking is something I dislike in a partner.  I value health, and killing liver, brain, and lung cells is not healthy. 

But damn, parts of him are so attractive to me.  He smells good, a good indicator that his immune system is different from mine (http://www.coxwashington.com/hp/content/reporters/stories/20 07/02/11/BC_FIDELITY_GENES_ADV11_COX.html)
He and I can talk about things that other people might frown down upon... sex, computers, biology, physics... pretty much one taboo topic, and three academic topics... oh, and we talk about acronyms and spelling too. He is smart.  He obviously makes bad decisions with his history with women and mind altering substances, but still, he makes good conversations.  These are awesome characteristics, but they can't make up for the fact that he has some things that make him "undateable" to me.  I guess all he would need to do though is quit the drugs and ask me out on just a date, not ask me to be his girlfriend.

Not going to happen, of this I am 99% certain.  But in the mean time... I would love to play some more games with him anyways, just to be close and have a reason to touch.  Plus, he makes a very comfortable place to sit.  (He is nearly 2x my size, not in a fat way >.< gross)  I think I need to watch more movies with him.