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A lot of drama goes on in my life, nothing ever seems to be fine, i never seem to be content. I used to think drama found me, but whenever my life seems so near to being happy i always seem to do something to ruin it all. Why am i so self-destructive?
Right now i have the perfect oppourtunity to be happy; i have a truely wonderful boyfriend who is always encouraging me, and giving me the self belief that i can achieve anything. I have good friends, that have got my best interests at heart. I'm feeling happy in my looks, i know im never going to be miss universe (!) but i dont compare myself to other people and just appriciate what i have. I adore my family, and with a new neice to make a fuss of, i've been closer to my family than ever.
Seems great right? So why arent i happy? Why am i so tempted to become single again, or even worse go behind my boyfriends back and cheat? Why cant i let myself be happy? Am i scared - because ive never truely been happy before? Do i enjoy the drama and torment i put myself through?
I just seem to become more and more ungrateful, when i have more and more reason to appriciate all the wonderful things i've got going in my life. A true pessimist, i focus on the little bad things that dont mean anything or will have a significant impact. If i know all this, and can write about it all... why can i not drill it in my head?
I'm starting to go round in circles.
*supergemma* |
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Posted by supergemma on 2008-05-13 16:55:41 | Rating: | Views: 24
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