1) He may be cheating! NOT SAYING HE IS THOUGH'
2) Try going to a love shop , sex store, you catch my drift.. try sex toys, sexy lingerie, or games for couples!
3) Something may be wrong with his "you know what" and he is just embarassed to talk about it.
4) Cosmopolitan? good magazine!

5) couple's councilling? maybe that will help you two communicate with eachother and such.

I understand how you feel completely. I have been married for 11 1/2 years and at the 7th to 8th year my husband and I begain to drift apart sexually. It was very difficult like you said because he worked to jobs and was always tired. As you said and I agree because after so many years together you know your husbands sex drive. I didn't believe my husband was cheating either and he wasn't. So don't start accusing him of anything you can't put your fingers on. It will only create more problems. I don't know if I have the answers you are searching for because I didn't make the best choices in my own situation. I befriended a guy who listened to all my inquires and tried to give me advice, but when my husband discovered this relationship it he was very upset. However it did open his eyes to the fact that I had a need that he wasn't filling. As they say things get worst before they get better and now 4 years have passed and are relationship is starting to rebuild.

I am 32 and I have always had older woman as friends, but because you are home all the time its hard to have friends. I think you did the right thing by finding and outlet such as this. But I do think that going to a sex store to help feel some immediate needs isn't such a bad thing.

When I had my daughter I got the depo shot which lowered my sex drive. I was on it for 2 years and as another bad side effect I gained a ton of weight. Well when I got off the shot my sex drive went through the roof and having "BOB" really helped the lack of sex that I was getting. BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend= No Emotions, No Drama, No STD's and best of all No cheating.

I understand that you can love a man with all your heart, but you need to love yourself first.

I hope that I have provided some information that can be helpful to you.

Take care!!!

Thank you both! Jennnifer I think you really get it. BOB is not the problem - got that lol. Its the intimacy I miss, being held by him and looking in his eyes. I miss being told how much he loves me. Sexual tension I can handle, its the total shut out that kills me.

I am glad that you have BOB, I think no woman should be without one. And yes you are right I can diffently relate to that intimacy makes a woman feel loved.

If I can ask you a question was he intimate with you the way that you desire before? Just the other day, I was talking to my husband about how important communication is in a relationship. I talk a lot and sometimes I talk too much, but I know that I tell him exactly what I need rather he wants to hear it or not. I guess what I am trying to say is that YES, intimacy makes you feel special. But I want you to know that you are special and you deserve everything good that life has to offer. Maybe he is going through something personally and he doesn't know how to share with you. Not that that is a excuse, but men can be on a completely different frame of mind than women. They think because they provide you with a comfortable life then everything else is irrelevent. However just as I tell my husband, "I need your love much more than your money!"

I know that this is a very difficult time for you, but have faith and give it time three of my favorite sayings are "GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT", "PATIENTS IS A VIRTUE", and "IF IT IS MEANT TO BE THEN IT IS UP TO ME." Just remember that he knows that you love him even if he doesn't say it. Any woman who will give up her career to care for their family is extremely extraordinary.

If I were you, I'd go back to work. Get some kind of interaction outside the house, with other adults. If your child is old enough for school, then this should be possible. Men sometimes lose interest in someone who is stagnant, not leaving the house, not having enough social interaction, and not showing interest in other things besides him. Start thinking about yourself, get to a gym, get a manicure and pedicure, do a spa day, start taking care of you. If you feel good about yourself, he may come around eventually. If not, sometimes things happen for a reason. Good luck!