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| wollowing in the depths of self pitty |
so here is the big truth.
i hate being at home. and i am unbearably lonely here. i have my family and im incredibly grateful for that but i just wish i had a friend or 2 around. my best friend lives round the corner but she is aat work or with her boy all the time. and i have a job but very few hours at the moment so im also bored.
im itching to get out and do something but dont have the money to do it, all my friends are going on holiday and i havent been away for 2 years so i will be even more left behind.
being back here just brings back all my old feelings and worries, something about a place can do that to you cant it? i can feel myself slipping backwards and i really really dont want to...
the next 3 months are gonna be tough. and i know im sounding really ungrateful for all the amazing things in my life but i cant help not being happy here, it feels like some ones pressed the pause button on my life and im scared that when they press play again everything will have changed...
is this an awful thing to admit?
i cant help but feel guilty when i get so upset when i know im simply wallowing in self pity.
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Posted by summerllilly on 2009-07-05 20:11:13 | Rating: | Views: 45
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