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how do you tell someone they would be horrible at the profession they were going to enter?
especially when it has more to do with others lives and well being then their own?
i was asked a question today by someone i love very much...'what makes me stand out...what would make me a better doctor than the rest of the people applying? what qualities do i have..." i was dreading this question for months. maybe an entire year...i wanted to ask him what he thought... tell me what he would tell the interviewer. he wouldnt tell me. he didnt know. i wanted to know what he would say, if it was a lie or if it was honest. if he would say just what the person wanted to hear or if he would really try to explain himself, let this person know who he was. he didnt. i dont think he knows who that is. because he doesnt want to accept it. i love him to death i really do and will support him no matter what he wants to do. but im the type of person who wants to live her dream, do what makes her happy.. make a difference in peoples lives...not just pick something because im a smart girl and i know i can do it so if the moneys good... go for it. thats not life. money is not life. its not happiness and not health.(well sometimes health..) he doesnt like very many people, and has no tolerance for anyone really... expresses negative emotions only in anger....cannot communicate or talk about touchy things at all. is extremely judgemental and critical of everyone other than himself. these qualities to me, do not say doctor. his good qualities say so many things, but not doctor. i went through a horrible time last year, an emotional time of regret and depression just emotions all over the place. i had to hide them. i had an abortion, which i guess i really didnt want to have. and we didnt talk about it. we didnt talk about the pain. i couldnt cry about it. he didnt want to see me like that. i didnt complain about the pain the nausea, the extreme sadness. nothing. all of it bottled up until now... he wasnt there. is that a good doctor? i hold far too much in... i dont know what to do... i dont want to lie. i dont want to hurt his feelings. if i told him the truth he would seriously leave me. like i said. only in anger. he is always right and i am always wrong. so i guess i just tell him what he wants to hear....one of the questions is what is the most difficult ethical decision you have ever had to make... you think that would be making the decision to have an abortion, it was something he made up....the whole interview will be made up.it just makes me sick that he doesnt deal with things, just puts it in the back of his mind and gets angry about it now and then. that hes so worried about what people think that he only tells the truth about the stuff that will get him brownie points and sympathy and lies about the rest. I wish his motivations were not money and status. people who are motivated by that are most of the time snobs if its their main concern. i do not like snobs. i dont like anyone who thinks they are better than anyone else.. for anyreason. i dont like people who judge people for their past and their actions when there is nothing to judge. i dont like people who criticize and make fun of everyone around them. I do not like people who are so opinionated that the opinion of others doesnt even matter. because theirs is right.a person like that is not real... a person like that is insecure and for some reason needs to feel better than everyone around them. isnt it best to try and have commmon ground with everyone? isnt it much better that way? dont we all get along when we dont compete so harshly? just to live life? it just doesnt seem worth it to me to be like that. i can see why i suppose however its not an excuse....no one has to be like that. we can choose to be better people... nice people do it everyday. as usual im ranting... rambling and ranting to an online journal because my feelings are a nuissance.... bah.
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Posted by sullengirl on 2008-02-25 17:15:51 | Rating: | Views: 43
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tough thing, honesty seems best, 'I don't know I am not you" is a fair answer.
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Posted by lampoil
on 2008-05-30 16:36:02
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As to the abortion, you must go on now and do something to honor the sacrifice. You were just used and abused in a system that while it is legal is cold and hard. It abuses women (and all the unborn children) by not telling them the scope of the truth. but the now the truth is you need putting back together, the cleaving of mother and child cleaves the soul the spirit the body the mind.
Pick up your head sister, realize he/him/person was focused on a lot of things. Apparently not you. You won't begin to heal until you come back in tot he light of day, and the fresh air.There are so many out here in the world who want to hug and love on you and help you heal.
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Posted by lampoil
on 2008-05-30 16:48:53
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