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can someone please tell me why i'm so fucking stupid? i mean really, good job. ruin something else in your life. Its really just a complete impossibliity for me to have a good thing? Must i completely destroy everything in my life that could possibly make me happy? He's just an amazing guy that i was stupid enough to let go of. Yes he did try to make me break up with him, but thats because he didnt want to break up with me cause he knew how emotional i am. Yeah i know sounds like a lame excuse. but it really is true. And now i just flipped out and tried to totally crush him. and unlike when i flip out on my mom, i think i may actually have succeeded. But thats probably the worst thing i could have ever done, cause he didnt deserve it. He's amazing and sweet, and i do love him. no matter what i say. I cant believe how much hatred i can have for myself now. it seems like i can never manage to do something right, and than keep it that way. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate life.
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