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this is a long one.....
so, i just had my son and it turns out that i don't have medi-cal any longer. The lady at the medi-cal office said that i dont have coverage and that was it that there was nothing that she could do and for me to have a good day. i tried to find out what was going on and i didn't get anywhere. this was in the beginning of this month. i kept going to their office every month to renew it and they always said that it was ok. so then when i really need it they tell me that i don't have anything. so now i have the hospital bill to pay and those are not cheap. then from his hospitalization and the lab test that they ran (plenty of them). there was a financial guy that went to see me while i was still at the hospital and he said that the reason for which i didn't have coverage was because my son has medi-cal and since i applied for a new case that they considered it fraud. i didn't know this. if i had known they i would have gone to jacobs worker from the beginning. it was a mistake,i believe, on the other workers behalf. because i told her that my older son had medi-cal and she looked it up to verify it and it was there on their system. she had me fill out a lot of paper work and said to just go back every month to renew it. i would not fraud the system all i wanted was coverage for my pregnancy. thats all.
so now the guy that went to see me at the hospital said to contact jacobs worker and try to work something out. and that if nothing gets works out to contact him and we could work something out so that i dont have to owe or be in debt. i told him thanks and that i would get a hold of him asap.
That is just the financial part. i havent slept in a week because of the stress and being in the hospital. i didnt get more than two hours a night. then theres the fact that i didnt have my other son by my side during that time. i would talk to him and see him for maybe an hour every other day. i felt so bad. i come home and there has been no laundry done or any cleaning at that. so i'm mad at my DH because he's home and cant help out while i'm out taking care of our younger baby. thats not what got me pissed it was that he said that since he works he's tired so he cant do it and when he comes home from work he needs to feed and play with jacob and then put him to sleep so that by the time that he is done he is too tired to do anything. i think thats bull because i still find time to do all the household needs no matter how tired i was.
my body hurt because of just delivering and i had to come home and still somehow manage to take care of my older son and the little one. my DH knows that i cant do much at the moment and still wants me to find a way to do it all. he tries to help but all he does is make it worse and i'm just sick of it. the only reason my body was hurting longer than the first few days was because my labor was induced. i am better now but its still hard because i have to take care of the two kids and he still doesnt understand how hard that is. it takes so much out of me. and to top that off my older son is sick with a cold so i'm trying to get that taken care of before it gets too bad. this morning around 5 i woke up my DH and asked him to try and put luis angel to sleep while i put jacob down to sleep because he is trying to play with him and wont sleep. you know what he said,??" i have to work tomorrow i am tired and i havent slept in a few days. i am sick so i cant do it"....as soon as he said that i told him to get out of the room and to go rest. he said, no wait i didnt mean that. i just told him to leave that i needed to put the kids down to bed again. i fed both of them and somehow managed to put the younger one down to bed. i laid him on his crib and the older one was not tired any more. so i watched a bit of tv with him and then went back to the room. I put on a movie for him and not even 10 minutes later he was sleep.
my DH calls my cell a few times but i didnt recognize his work number so i didn't pick it up. he calls from his cell and wants to talk about what happened in the morning. i told him that i didn't want to hear it that whats done is done. he replied by saying that he hasn't been working comfortable since the morning. i just calmly replied just drop it.
I have the worries of being a good mom to both of the kids and still being able to be good enough to not mess up their lives b/c of my insecurities. i just dont know what to do. i want to be able to be there for both of the kids and be able to just be good. i dont' know i guess that i will find out with time how i did
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Posted by strong4two on 2008-01-17 00:25:44 | Rating: | Views: 38
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