so yesterday we go to his house because its his grandmas birthday and we bought her this perfume that smelled really nice. things were cool at first and then his gay boy cousin talks to me. i talk to all of his family members so it was no big deal. and he likes men and men only. i met his bf! so..angel leaves to buy the baby some infant tylenol because he had a headache and during the itme that he was gone i was talking to a ayoung female cousin of his and then his gay cousin walks over and asked if i was bored. i told him that i was cool where i was at. then he asked if i drank. i replied yeah. and he offered me a beer. as he was getting me my beer angel comes home and starts tripping out. why am i drinking? because its only one and i take only one once every few weeks. he knows that. i drink them in front of him. then he walks off mad and i drink my beer with his other cousins. i wasnt going to let a beer go to waste.

after a bit he doesnt come back out and so i go in to see how things are and to check up on the baby. the baby was sleeping. he tells me to leave. i tell him that i want to spend some time with the baby. he's pissed as it is.then he starts talking s**t and i'm like whatever. he's mad because i drank a miller and not a corona. they didnt have a corona. and thats where it all started to go downhill. i remember i hit him but it was because i felt as though i was going to struck. he grabs my arm and tells me that not in his house. and he starts to twist it. so i struck him again. then thats when he started to choke hold me for a bit. i told him to stop and he wouldnt. he held it for a few more seconds and pretended to punch me. i didnt take that too lightly. so i was already shaking and i did what came naturally i fell to the ground and tried to cover my head. he then proceded to almost kick me he stopped before he hit me. and i was just shaking. he told me to stay in the bed laying like a perra (spanish for dog)

i then realized that it was my chance to tell them since i am too scared to tell my parents why not tell his. and i told him that either he tells them or i do. and he was like hell no i am not going to jail. you dont love me. i told him that its not about love its about my safety and the safety of the kids. that maybe there wont be a next time. that maybe the next time i wont make it out alive and that was not a risk i was willing to continue taking. and he says that i rather see him in jail. i told him that i dont want to die and whatever choice his parents want to make was up to them but it was up to them. i told him that i am NOT going to be feeling down anymore. so then he says swear to god that you are telling my parents. i tell him that. its me or its you but they are going to know. then he starts freaking out i didnt know what he was going to do he looked trapped and the only way out was passing through him. good thing i kept my distance and said as little as possible. he said i'm out. and just left. i stepped outside the room very carefully and slowly just in case he was waiting for me but i just saw the front door close behind him.

i went outside and looked for his parents. i found his mom and i called her into the house. I could barely speak because i was still in shock. i told her through tears. and she asked where he was. i said that he left to work. she took the baby and told me to calm down. that when i was ready to go back out and then she can take me home. i stayed about 35 more minutes and then asked if i could be taken home. she took me home and waited until my mom answered the door. i went inside and my older son ran to me and started to hug me and then hugged the baby. my mom asked me what was wrong and i couldnt bring myself to tell her. so i said that seeing his grandma and grandpa was too sad for me and i couldnt take it much more so i was brought home after i asked his mom to bring me home. which is not a lie but its not the complete truth. what i told her was true. i do miss my grandma i havent seen her in 14 yrs and i already lost my grandpa. it was too much.

when he came home from work he was very cautious. didnt want to upset me or something. so umm he carefully brought me a gift bag that contained some pink fluffy slipers and a stugged froggy. then he stepped out of the room quickly. i thanked him and asked him why that is when he left. then he came back in slowly with a bag in his hands it was a bag of carls jr. he bought me a burger and the fries he put in a plate for my older son. my son said thank you. then he left just as fast as he came in. he kept checking up on us throughout the night. then this morning he came home during his lunch break and handed me a note apologizing for what happened yesterday stating that he was tired and upset and that if i could find it in my heart to forgive him. he left right after he handed me the note. but right before that he said that he wants to make love but that he doesnt want to take it from me that he want me to approach him when i am ready. so i just said it never stopped you before. then he put his head down and said that he wants things to be different that he will be a good boy.
so now the next time that he even thinks of hitting me or doing anything i will call the cops on him without any more second thoughts. i know that i shouldnt wait but i cant right now. and i think that is why he is scared because i never told anyone much of what has been happening except for here when i express what goes on and even then its missing a few occasions when he has abused me. the abuse goes back some time. so i am thinking that now that he sees that i wont take it anymore he wont do it. but i know that he will not change just because i finally said something. but i cant do it. i do think that its a big step. and i feel so good. i know that i can stand up to him and i know that i can no longer be held down by him. i know that its still a bit hard to handle and its a big risk to stay here but i am making progress and now that is stood up for myself and the kids i can do so much. i feel with so much empowerment.