okay, well see here's the thing, tons of stuff has been going on, and I currently have to rely upon my aunt's computer for internet access.
I'm really too lazy to write it all out again[3 finals today, no fun at all], so here's a message I sent to a friend of mine, mat.:
u read my entire profile? I didnt even realize how much i put on there that i didnt tell u, of course we hardly talk anyhow.
I've got such an attitude in my about me.
=]
i love it.
and dude, I'm bi. Forgot to tell u that.
U know, I should be a bit more honest with you. Like when i tell u I'm fantastic? Yeah, lies. all lies. And when I'm a total ditz? I'm a better actress than I thought. Did u know about the cutting? Going on 2 months since i last did it. started in october, when i tried to kill myself. Nice, huh? I hope u didn't think u knew a thing about me, cuz I'm only just getting started... let's see, my mother's a slut, started having sex at 10, had a kid at 14, then me at 16. my dad was 26. lovely isnt it? I'm scared of one thing and one thing only: commitment. Remember last year's easter thing? and then we were talking and somehow got to my ex... u said i had commitment issues. you were insanely right. Hmmm, and oh yeah, on friday night, my dad got drunk and said he was gonna kill himself. In front of my brother and sister. My best friend shelly is more scared of me than anyone else, because I've only told her maybe half of this, and she thinks I'm going to finally blow one day and kill half the school because everyday I walk in witrh a smile and listen to everyone's problems and fix everything except my own life. But I cant fix my own life, because everyone in my family has taken it upon themselves to fix things and end up making things worse. And dont even let me get started on cj. I'm absolutely pathetic when it comes to him. last relationship i had was with a girl I've been friends with for a while. we broke up cuz, well, I'm freaking nuts!
Gosh, what's wrong with me? I've totally just typed out all this stuff I've been dying to tell someone, and this isnt all of it, and it's you. I'm gonna send it because to be honest, i wasted too much time on this not to. And because u need to know that I'm not that stupid, ditzy child you see on sundays. you're right, I'm not 18. But with my life, how can I say I'm 14? I should be about 37 by now. I hate how everything is defined by age. screw age. I can be just as 18 as u, trust me sweetie.
don't think of me differently. it's rude.
=]

yeah, so that's nice isnt it?
and I'd like to just pat myself on the back or almost 2 months of not cutting. Woo!
lol
well, later my lovely little angels.
=]