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 Chapter Three
"Hello?" The voice was a cool breeze. It didn't seem to have a body, just a sound. "Miss? Are you alright?" The voice again, only this time a dark and handsome man appeared from the mists that swirled around her. "Miss, wake up. Are you alright?" Her eyes flew open. The sunlight was bright against the shadow of a man. His bespectacled eyes peered at her. He bent over, his hand on her shoulder. Where was she? She looked around, her eyes adjusting. The bus! Running down the street toward the cafe. Please be there! Please be there! How long had she been asleep? The bus was gone. Her luggage, her purse. Her purse! She checked her side. It was gone! Great. All she needed. Stranded in a small town, no money, no help. Life couldn't get any worse. "Miss? I believe this is yours." came the voice from her dream. Turning, there he was. Tall, graying at the temples, a close, neat beard. Just as her dream had been. Same voice too.She looked at his hand. Her purse! She must have dropped it in her haste to find the bus."Thank you," she said softly, reaching and clutching it. At least she had money.The tears were there. Why? She always cried. She was sick of this. Sick of crying, sick of being alone, sick, sick, sick."Come, let's go in the cafe and sit. You don't look well."Proper English. Seemed to be a gentleman. At least the cafe had people in it. At this point in her life she didn't care if she was kidnapped and carried into the mountains. At least it would be an adventure. The cafe was quiet. A few locals. Nothing happening.They took a booth. He ordered coffee. She had another coke.She leaned her head against the window."Did you come on the bus?" he asked softly.No, I flew in with an umbrella. That wasn't nice. The man was just concerned."Yes. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was just very tired. The park was peaceful.""It is a relaxing place to be. There isn't much going on around here. Everyone is so very laid back."She took a good look at him. He appeared younger in good light. More distinguished. Perhaps he was a scholar, or author. Maybe a millionaire who liked a quiet town to run away to. She was dreaming again. Her life was lived that way."You will need a place to stay. The bus won't come through again for a couple of days. My grandmother has a boarding house. You can stay there." He looked up."There's grandfather now. I'll invite him over."He rose and walked behind her.She heard his voice."Grandfather, I want you to meet someone."She turned slightly and found herself looking up into her wrinkled, toothless friend."Howdy there young'un. Good ta see ya again."
    Posted by storymaker on 2008-07-14 17:52:50 | Rating: | Views: 48
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Return of the bumpkin!

...And the case of the missing paragraphs. Oh, where, oh, where have they gone?

You've got a really nice writing style, like I'm actually reading a book. You characterize your characters wonderfully, and it wasn't until this chapter that I finally realized I've got no clue what any of the names are =X. But for once I don't have to see a name to recognize a character, and I think that's amazing.

Another plus for you is the fact that you let her mind sort of wander, but it pretty much ends in the same spot, like most minds (or at least mine).

I can't wait for more!
Posted by  ScarletBlack  on 2008-07-14 19:18:05 
  
Believe it or not, I had paragraphs when I wrote the thing. I guess my blog site thought they didn't need to be there. Perhaps they will work in future chapters.
Posted by  storymaker  on 2008-07-14 21:54:32 
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storymaker
Oklahoma, United States

Latest Posts

 Chapter Four
 Chapter Three
 Chapter Two
 "Catching Jane"
 "The End"

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