NOT IMPRESSED

 

It is the change of seasons and I am looking around for my long sleeves and dual layer jeans. Am done with you and your skimpy style and rump. Changing for a while, and need hot soup and something meaty. Not saying fat makes me wallow in happiness, but takes care of the chill and gives me something to look forward to in front of the fireplace with you and the TV table. Need to get real close. Have some heat. And wallow in the changes from skimpy outfits and blast of summer sun, to the gentle glow of fire upon one’s rosy cheeks. And this brings me to the topic for today: Not Impressed.

“Not Impressed.” This is something that requires care, much like the one where you don’t talk about any girl you are not with at the moment. Requires good sense. Its ok to not be impressed, but expression of such event can have its backlash. Can be lethal. Eyelash and be careful when she has just been to the hairdresser, paid top dollar and is ready for a good time.

And it never comes up. Hand her the flowers. Say. “Yes. Very pretty you are.” When she mentions romance and flowers and candlelight. And over the table even when your meal is late, and the restaurant staff are casual and not about you and your table and your date. To get off topic. Never say, “Not Impressed. Even if you are careful and makes sure, your date knows you think she is the best, and you want to score.” Never let it get out of hand, and be careful if a really hot chick passes by your table. Play it halfway, notice, but not too much. Look your date right in the eye and smile and say. “You are so pretty tonight.”

Don’t start a conversation and say. “Yes. She’s pretty, has top-shelf looks and yes, in general, has a good body.” And then go off and get on the Plastic Surgery Channel with her Botox Pals. Just don’t do it. Its ok to not be impressed, just don’t talk about it. Use as your personal standard for being on your best behavior. Think before you speak, and never, never say, “I’m not impressed.”

So I am happy now. Not breaking my own rules. Am in a blog and having my say. She reads it, but she isn’t furious in that special way. Some guys never really get it and are just not right. Talking about Tiger Woods, and better not say it. “Not Impressed.” Golf or bowling, and a man plays a perfect game. Hits and shoots, straight and long. Has stamina and pleases her time after time.

And she looks at you and says, “Kind of Neat. Are you this good. Maybe we should go a round or two?” Tiger Woods. Owns the course and would give anything to be, one of his caddies. And I am thinking, “You bet. Not impressed. Man’s top dollar. Forget it.” But true to my pledge, I never say it.

So now I am dreaming. Keep it clean. Don’t curse. Stay on target with the girl and the scene. Life is about laughing and having fun. Don’t humor her. Please her. Be on your game. Just ask. “ Nightcap. Do you want to come up?” And be sincere when she says, “Its late. I’m tired. Another time, and rain-check.” Its ok if you are not impressed with this standard put-off. Every dog has his day. A single incident of rejection won’t harm you.

Don’t make it worse by asking, “Are you sure?” And don’t get creepy. Don’t lose face. But remember its ok. As you are leaving just say. “Yes, we need to have an early night. Have a Tee-Time with Tiger Woods at 7.” And she says. “Have a good time.” And waves. And you drive off. And wonder. “Does she even know? Tiger Woods.”