first love

FIRST LOVE

For a while now I have been chased by something, catching up with me in baby steps, and in graduated degrees of concern. In my head that I am almost over with a year of difficulty, but it could also be said, that we are here to learn and grow and develop, and the first thing that came to me, what would that be? Is it time to harvest the grapes and begin the process of making wine.

Maybe not, for lately the changes are immense and making me something, even I know not what. Not really. And its not just me, and I am now quite stable and have had a year alone, to get use to the idea. I am on my own. This is my life. Time to do it.

Do it and you can sing along with me. Hum or strum or vocalize this little ditty. Sound and Song and Dance. Now comes the idea. We need a script or lyrics or something to read and follow. And so it begins. I am back to writing. Wake and Start. Listen for the crying of the young. Find a way to know what is real and what is not. Growing Pains. Fast Cars on the Walking Path.

And now I am considering most things, unlikely just a year ago. So I have searched and found something deep inside of me. I know I can do it. And I plan to make it easy. Find words and store them up. Just Write. And later, somebody will ask, what do you really think? Think before you speak. “Infants on The Rug. Happy Crawlers before legs.” And that makes me smile and laugh and lighten up. And I hear the words. “Just What The Doctor Ordered.”

The goal here is to write. And I can say it like I know it. My blog for today. First Love.

Before I saw their hands, I didn’t know. Flesh and Blood and it begins to be real, from the first moment you hold them. Hold and Feel. That is when it begins. And is real. And I have had this experience when I read and write. New Experience. New Life and its more than words, but until now, most of my creations come in the form of a finished book, or write and post a simple blog. Write each day. Each installment is like a natural child of my mind. And I love it. The creative process. My First Love.

And so it comes easy for me to get back on the wagon. On the wagon of real life. Something small and yet, growing. Growing and Giving Life. Life of The Planet. Life of the Mind. And I wonder, is it one and the same. Thinking and Doing. Feeling and Loving. First Love.

First Love and it must be a prime adventure for most people. Small and Precious. First Puppy. First Girlfriend or Lover. First Child. After one, comes many. It is not just about me. It has a lot to do with you. And the intelligent design of creation. It could be complicated, but I remember. Its not. Its quite simple Being in the arms of Mother. Feeling safe and warm and content. In her hands, and now in mine. A living Child.

And now I write. And write about the things you know. You see, this is a first experience for me. Waited a long time. Some would say. “Oh My Gosh. He’s Old.” And I laugh. That is the goal of life. To grow old with your first love.

Well that is the idea. And to do that, one must extend the experience and the time line. Youth and Child. It happens so fast. And now here we are. Saying. “First Love. A Prime Adventure. Small and Precious.” Now kind of old, and it all goes hand in hand. Along The Road. The Road I call. “Memory Lane –First Love.”

At the end. It is all known. Family History. Books and Blogs. Tracks of a Writer. It gets said. And there are visible signs of all of this, and some funny secrets tucked in the chapters, not yet written. And so it goes. A Secret. About First Love. And if I tell you, will you tell them, The Infants. Tell them when I am gone. About First Love and that you knew him well, Their Daddy. Read Him Like A Book. Was a daily habit. On the road and just before bed. Would check on what he was doing and thinking and writing about. In his blog.

And so we might be far and distant, separated by water and land and mountains and things, not yet written. But can mention here. For the record. Maybe you will tell them. “For Your Daddy, his first love was you. And always will be.” But even with all that said, you must know. “Had Several First Loves. It is Confusing. Before you, he loved your mother. And before that: yes before that, His first love was a lawn mower.” 1959. Bright Red. Lawn Mower. Runs on Gas, not electricity. Can you believe that!!! And so it goes. A Secret. About First Love. And Your Daddy.