CREEK WATER

So I am facing the grade and the curve in the road, and have to say as point of reference without using a GPS grid, that it has been an uphill climb to get to you. And now my foot is on the gas pedal, and I need to clear the ridge before I go to empty. You see I am needing to get to you. Need civilization. Have been weeks and weeks since I have had my daily habit. Love and Sex and Church and other things people just need. We all need something. And so here I am. Grinding to a halt in front of you, pulling out all the stops and warning signs. Making myself visible. In The Intersection.

And so now I want to step off that road, walk a bit down a dirt path in my mind and write a blog. Write. Post. Get back to the regular habit. And its not happening. Lots going on in my world. Year of mourning for the loss of the mother of my children, Kiana. Ready to start living again. And so I am just not quite right. Been a difficult year. And now my blog: CREEK WATER.

So this is a blog about my environment, and I have gotten lazy over the last year or so. Everything is artificial, not the real thing. Copies of THE REAL. Trying to find revised and altered and conditioned ways of feeling good, when I wasn’t really being true and right with myself. Suffered a big loss. Had too many things on my mind. And so I said, “Dolly.” When I should have said. “Pardon.” Things on my mind and people were wondering is he ok. “Is it something he is drinking or smoking or doing. Is he okay?” And when you lose somebody you love, things are kind of artificial for a while Starting over isn’t really a option, but you are forced to do it. And so it comes down to a lot of experimentation.

And Here I am. Experimenting with it. THE WATER. Acid Rain. Fluoride. Pollution and The GREEN Solution. And I am in the middle of Walnut Creek.

And now you might be thinking, “Where is Stoney going now? What is the point?” Of writing about this last year and the things that happened. And now I tell you what It Is. The break in the trees and he can see her more clearly now. She is gone. Her children are out there. Somewhere. And the skies are colored with Flash and Lightening and Fire. And so is his mind. Kind of Smokey. Haze and a Phase he is passing through.

Got out of his house. Driving a car. Trying to go somewhere he hasn’t been. Been a long year of morning /mourning and night/darkness running through him. Dressed and Ready. Going through the motions of life.

Drinking 8 cups of water a day. Pretending to be healthy. And Really its been a life of Creek Water. And only he knows what that means. Creek Water. Picnic beside a stream with her, how many years ago. They made a baby or two. He had fun. Everyday was enjoyment, if you figure in the crosswinds and the time, the journey was always pleasure when she was there. And then the road took a bend, glaring lights and a loud horn. Happened all too fast. Not sure it was meant to be a life changing event but it was.

And now I am in neutral. Pulled off the road on my way to you. Looking for a certain creek where you and I once laid and played and made dreams and plans. Creek Water. Feeling the clarity of a clean stretch of water. A fish and picnic place. Sunlight over me. Happiness on my pillow. And I dream. And go forward and back. Half real and Half pretend. MY year of mourning is over. Going out for a drive. Drinking. Creek Water.