How many gods make one?

According to monotheistic religions, there is only one god and this is an essential article of faith. Indeed, in Islam, for instance, the breaking of this article of faith is the only unpardonable sin. Similarly, the first of the Judaic god's laws asserted this principle. And, it seems a rather simple notion: one equals one; nothing complex or difficult here.

Yet Christianity, a self-proclaimed monotheistic religion, has certainly found the arithmetic difficult to grasp. To begin with, in order to distinguish itself from the sect within Judaism known as the Way, it had to posit the divinity of Jesus. This was the start of no end of intellectual problems, confusions and difficulties, which have had to be met by endless sophistries, sleights of hand, and outright denials of the plain meanings of words.

An immediate problem was, of course, that Jesus had been a flesh and blood human being, born of woman. This was undeniable. Yet he was god. Oh, dear. You can almost hear the opportunities for argument, dispute and bitter conflict, already.

Then there was the problem that he had been executed by the Romans as a common criminal. Better turn this into some form of religious dispute with the holy men of the Judaic religion and assert that whilst he died, as man, he also, as god, rose again.

However, there was also the problem that his followers, the people who knew him and would be able to tell of what he had said (for some inexplicable reason, this god incarnate had failed to take the simple precaution of writing down what he wanted people to do) were fearful and scattered. Enter stage left, another god, who would fill them with enthusiasm and resolve: the Holy Spirit. This brings the tally so far to three.

Returning to the problem of Jesus' humanity, it was decided to resolve this problem by claiming that his mother was a virgin, eternally and for ever immaculate (this last is indicative of their thinking about sexual relations, which is strange, as presumably from their perspective, sex is an expression of god's will). This elevated Mary from the level of common humanity. And over time, the promotions have come thick and fast, with her never dying, but being assumed unto Heaven, having the power to suspend the natural laws of the universe and intercede for the remission of sins, making her at least a demi-deity if not an actually fully fledged god.

Next we come to the issue of the angels. According to the mythology, the devil was a fine angel, more or less equal to god and exceptionally proud of his prowess. And it was this that led to his conflict with god and his banishment along with his supporters from god's presence. This clearly implies the angels are gods. But before reaching that conclusion, let us consider for a moment the relationship between god and the devil as related in the Book of Job. Here we see clearly two deities engaged in friendly rivalry, who with no concern for the welfare of mere people, wager for the mere pleasure of winning. This is a representation of equals, putting the devil, and by extension all angels, on a par with god.

By now the tally has outreached the limits of our knowledge: we only know that there are a great many gods. But, unfortunately, we have not finished yet; not by a long chalk. For it is clear that the nature of the divine is also attributed to dead saints, who can perform miracles and forgive sins. And it is not only the dead saint who can do this, but even their supposed bones and other such grisly relics.

So, how many gods make one? The answer it would appear is thousands and thousands; gods beyond our capacity to take a simple census apparently make one, according to Christian arithmetic, which is a special branch of knowledge, available only to those who have faith. As someone once said: 'I only know what I believe.'