Every week or so I make the 82 mile drive from Milwaukee to the fabulous city of Wheaton, Il. I currently live in Milwaukee and my boyfriend of three years is back at his parents in Wheaton - Church Capital of America. I actually don't mind the drive, at about an hour and a half, I have more than enough things to think about, talk on the phone about, and belt out theraputic song lyrics about than I know what to do with. The problem is that I have notorious road rage (which honestly is absolutely out of control) so unless I am making the drive at 3 am I have to deal with traffic while traveling the devil that is the Illinois Tollway.

The drive is normally pleasant until I reach the Wisconsin-Illinois border. Seriously, it's like I am enjoying a relaxing drive until I start to see the signs indicating I am nearing Waukegan and then once I cross that border Illinois says, "Fuck You, Welcom to the Illinois Tollway." Instantly traffic becomes jammed...someone explain to me how I can travel at a steady 85ish mph throughout the stretch of I-94 that is in Wisconsin, but once I hit Illinois my speed is reduced to a crawl? As if the traffic isn't a big enough pain in the ass, now that I am in Illinois I am also forced to deal with dun, dun dun...ILLINOIS DRIVERS! What the hell is wrong with these people. Does drivers ed exist in Illinois? Or do they just had over a drivers license when you turn 16 and say good luck? Drivers in Illinois feel the need to speed up and slow down unecessarily, switch lanes without even looking to see if there is a car in the way, and ride the ass of the car in front of them if it is traveling any slower and 98 mph and in the 'fast lane.' Now, when you switch over to the right lane, don't expect to go any faster than 58 in a 65 because it would be obsurd to actually travel the posted speed limit if you are attempting to be a law obiding citizen.

All of these inconvienences don't hold a candle to the worst part of Illionis driving...the tolls. Once i drive past Six Flags I know its coming, that first toll. I have it memorized by now, the first toll is $1.50, the second is $.80, and the third is $.50. The tollway targets any cars that are not registered in the state of Illinois because if you reside in Illinois you are more than likely the owner of an I-pass so you can cruise through and deal with the toll later. From counting the change to the lines of cars that have to come to a complete stop and hand over their coins to the tollbooth operator, who is usually very unpleasant and almost always unattractive, the annoyance seems  to grow and grow.

By the time I arrive at my boyfriends I am pissed off and negative about five dollars in toll charges...and I can think of about a million better ways to spend five dollars.