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| hitch hikers |
Life is mundane. Thank god for hitch hikers.
Today, while heading back to my house, I picked up a hitch hiker named Ned.Ned was wearing hipster shades, his hair was snow white, his face was worn from time and his teeth looked like shattered white glass sprayed with yellow paint.
Ned turned out to be an interesting fellow with a vibrant history. Ned told me that when he was in his thirties a metal beam fell down on his arm and ripped it off. Ned told me he took his arm to the hospital and they stitched it back on...Can you imagine showing up to the hospital holding your arm with blood spraying everywhere? If this happened to me, I would def go up to the hottest nurse in the building and ask for a hand. You may only lose your arm once in your life, you might as well take advantage of it.
I looked at Ned's arm and noticed it did not really work, it just kind of hung there, but hey at least Ned had an arm right?
... we continued to drive. I continued to interview the fuck out of him.
Ned was also a soldier. He fought against the evil communist regime in vietnam. He told me that he got shot three times over there and had some shrapnel lodged in his chest... years later a giant metal beam would rip his arm off... some people are just unlucky I guess.
Aside from fighting over seas, and loosing his arm, Ned, like so many other Americans, was struggling in the recession and having money issues. He started bitching about all this stuff, but I did not really understand him. I tuned back into the Ned show, when he told me that he now smokes pot to deal with his pain. Like me, Ned is allergic to pain killers and hates them. He found that marijuana did a much better job subduing his pain demons.
LEGALIZE THAT SHIT
When I got to my exit, I dropped Ned off and shook his hand. I told him he was a very interesting hitch hiker and wished him a good life. Ned smiled widely at me, and told me he was having a hallloween party with reggae music and free boos.
The ned saga continues!
key lessons learned from the ned saga?
1. people are like books and should be interviewed when ever possible ( ned was an action adventure story with undertones of tragedy.)
2. picking up hitch hikers makes life more interesting.
3. if you lose your arm don't worry, they can sow that shit back on.
4. brush your teeth.
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Posted by squidhead on 2009-10-22 15:29:11 | Rating: | Views: 17
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