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| god damner dood |
the average penis is six inches long and belongs to a dooche bag. A boy at a party last night kept telling everyone that his penis was infact one and half inches longer than the average male, and that only about 10 percent of black males have penises larger than white males. This boy also threw water on me while I was a sleep, jumped out of a moving car, and liked music like korn and slip not. Did I mention that he also invited me to a bon fire and has secret desires to get with this asian girl I was making out with the other night?
wow what a wild penis filled, vodka fueled, asian girl making out good time.
in other news my ex girl friend hates my guts. I think this marks the six time in two weeks that this has happened. I don't really get her. I tell her that I love her like crazy, and nothing would make me happier than to do be her again, but she just gives me a wall and tells me to get lost.
so I was like.
okay, super awesome cool girl dumps you.
you have two options.
1. be emo for the rest of your life, pick up a drug habbit and turn into a homosexual who fucks guys in the ass to feel alive.
2. Just get american with your life, pick yourself up by your boot straps and start making out with hot asians.
I picked option 2, thinking with some degree of certainty that my x was completly over me and just wanted to be my friend.
I was wrong.
When I told her I was going on a date with an asian girl with a snaggle tooth hidden cleverly behind her upper lift, she hung up the phone on me and texted me things like this
" I know in my heart that you are the one for me. But you have showed me time and time again that is no longer good enough for you"
IM like fuck that fucking beans is that shit? You dump me, say it is over and then get all butt her that I am hanging out with metal heads with above average penis sizes and asian girls who like to smoke and use the word niggar to vent emotional frustration.
fuck that~
I fucking quit. I think I am just going to go gay for a while and suck dick.
just kidding, but seriously I think I might be bisexual but then again not really.
damn.
my head is like a fucking assberger highway stained with slob
well, I am going to read the new york times, try and find a copier for my underground news paper and try to make things less akward with the girl I watched jurrasic park with.
forever and always
your dumb ass bisexual muntant freak of a friend
squid
oh and you know what else is fucking wack?
reason and logic are overwhelmed by the horde of emotions!
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Posted by squidhead on 2009-11-05 15:10:54 | Rating: | Views: 8
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