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Got a brain like bubblegum

After years and years of working in the same job and moaning about how much I dislike it and some of the people, I had enough yesterday and applied for some jobs.

Yesterday, I got really peeved off at R**. He emailed me a rather snotty message telling me that the hotel I had booked for him in Zurich for a course was 9 miles away from the aiport, and why did I not notice this previously and book him a hotel where he had asked. Now, if I had have been in the wrong, I would have held my hands up to this and apologised. However, the hotel I had booked him at, was exactly where he had asked me to book him! I then had to spend an hour getting him another hotel and cancelling the other. My Manager was on holiday in France, yet still checking her emails so she then emailed after seeing his email to me to have a go at me. Again, this pi***d me off. I then remembered that there was another vacancy going in another department for a similiar role and applied for it. I now have an interview tomorrow morning and I have not told anyone in my office, other than my 2 work friends. I do wonder if I should tell my manager, but then think I should wait and see if I actually get the job first.

On my lunch break I applied for loads of officey jobs, in the hope I can get out of here.

I received a disciplinary last year for misuse of the internet and email at work - most of this was my fault, however, the only reason I was continually on there was due to the fact I was not getting given any work - even when I asked for it. I was not about to sit there all day bored was I?!

Since this has happened, R** has been an utter ba***** to me. He's never been that nice anyway. Infact, 3 years ago he was that vile me and 4 of my then workmates wanted to put in a complaint about him, as he was that intolerable. It just feels that lately, he is set to want me to fail at my job, when I am now working really hard. We had our appraisals recently, followed by a brief meeting with him. Despite me knowing that sadly, one of my other colleagues is doing that badly they are considering sacking her, he told me that I had to prove myself to the whole company and that out of the whole team, I am the only one with a massive problem.

It seems nothing I do is good enough. When Ray left, I had to take over his role and although I was nervous at first, as it was different to what I have done before, I started to really enjoy it and realised I was good at it. I even tried with him because as part of my job, it is mandatory I talk to him about some arrangements.

What I don't appreciate is comments at me or about me when he talking to someone else. Like, today he phoned B**** from Liechtenstein, asking her something and then telling her to call him back on his mobile, adding that the other day I "had said I had tried to call him back and hadn't been able to get through, which is ridiculous". He implied that I'm a liar and I never tried to call him, when I did. Funny how then when B**** tried to call him back on his mobile and she couldn't get through either. The man is a total nause. His girlfriend is working here at the moment, acting as his PA whilst his is away. She seems really nice so what on earth is she doing with him?

I had a chat with D**** about all of this last night and as usual he's being totally supportive of me finding something else. I love that about him. He won't always know exactly what to say when I'm down, but he has that way of holding me and kissing me on the forehead, which makes everything seem better.

Yesterday, we were meant to go to the Cinema and to the movies. Only, we never went. His work mate's van broke down an hour away and he had to wait 2 hours to be picked up. Whilst I was waiting I had to sit with his friends, as they decided to invite themselves round. Had a few drinks with them, chatted about this and that, and I have to now ask two questions:

1) Why are there girls with no respect for themselves?
2) Why do SOME men have to speak to vulgarly about women?

I've asked 1) as J**** was mentioning that he has told one of the girls he was sleeping with he doesn't want to see her anymore as he needs time on his own. Her answer to that was "why, when we're only f*****g?" - where is her dignity and why does she not care how much of a sl** she is making herself appear to be? A few weeks ago when he told me about her, she sounded really clingy, yet I stuck up for her and said she just liked him a lot.

I've asked 2) because all J**** and M***** sat there talking about for the first hour was about women's bodies and dirty things they wanted to do to them. I am not a blokey girl or one that wants to talk like that.

When they got there they also played their music far too loud on the drive, which is a violation on my tenancy agreement. I hope for their sakes I do not get fined.