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Embarrassment comes in many forms

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You know that phrase that sometimes gets used? That you've put your foot in your mouth, well I did yesterday.

I wrote the other day about how I found out my ex was a Dad now and he was engaged, and that I was a tad confused about my feelings towards it. Anyway, yesterday I went to visit my Mum yesterday and who should call round to visit my brother, only my ex. And this wasn't even the worst part...he brought his fiancee and his daughter. I hadn't physically seen him for about a year until yesterday and it was so weird.
He came in, looked quite shocked that I was there, and then my fiancee shook his hand and said that he had a beautiful daughter and they spent the next half an hour talking, like old friends. His new girlfriend doesn't like me and even made a comment as my Mum went to make tea, that she thought I wouldn't be there. What the fuck?! It's MY mother's house. Why wouldn't I be there?!
I don't feel anything towards my ex anymore. I knew that as soon as I saw him. I went to make another cup of tea for everyone and he came to help. He told me he was sorry, that he hopes we can all be friends and he'd really like it if I made an effort to get along with his new girlfriend, as ever since she had their daughter, her friends haven't really bothered with her.

Well, because he was so nice to me and he apologised, I thought fuck it, I will try. So, I was really nice. Even though I was still in shock he was there and she was being short with me.

This morning, I woke up to a text message from her, her having got the number from my brother. The text message said the following:

Thank you for making the effort you did yesterday. It meant a lot and I didn't mean to be a bitch. The thing is, Richard will always have strong feelings for you. He always refers to you as his 1st love and I can't be friends with an ex girlfriend of his. Please do the decent thing and tell your brother not to be friends with Richard anymore. It is the best thing for everybody.

First of all, how the fuck am I supposed to tell my brother who he can and can't be friends with?! It isnt my place...and the rest of what she is saying I kind of make sense of but surely that means i dont have to be friends with her and him.

Posted by southernsun on 2009-10-19 17:28:55 | Rating:

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I think she's out of line to expect you to tell your brother who should or shouldn't be his friends. If she can't deal with the fact that Richard will always have feelings for you b/c you were his first love..oh well...too bad. Your being decent to her, you no longer have feelings for Richard, she needs to get over her insecurities. Its her problem...not yours, Richard's OR your brothers.

...dani

Posted by WalkinOnSunshine on 2009-10-19 17:37:57

Wow, hmmmm ... I think she's speaking with her heart not her mind. The thing is you are now happily engaged and have moved on. She will see that eventually. As for the first love, well that is true in most cases... but doesn't mean he wont love her.

It is not your place to tell your brother that. . . you can't break up friendships because of old relationships.

Step above it Lau. . It does seem like you wont really run into her that much. If she has issues with your brother & her bf being friends, then that is between her and her bf. not you and your brother.

You are a Mum now, you don't have time for these petty games. Just rise above it and set the example like you did. Proud of you.xxx

Posted by EasyToSay on 2009-10-19 18:23:17