its been a very long week, i had to take my daughter to the cnp for a visit, my daughter pulls her hair out,some kind off mental disorder that she  i guess got off me.

next was a visit to the dentist with the help off diazapan. then my visit to a cnp,to see which therapy they want to push me in to next.

all this shit and my mum had the week off work to piss me off,she doesnt ask if i want to go out with her, i get a phone call on monday telling me what i'm doing all week,shopping,shopping,tip, garden centre, b and q, help her with her pc, baby sit her stupid dog. i cant wait till she pisses off back to work so i can do my own stuff.

the plan to get my self a boy friend seems much more bleck when i reread the above. who the hell is going to what such a emotionally dead person such as me.justin timberlake wouldnt thats for sure.

i have been going on some chat web sites just to get used to talking to people but its not working all that good. in a "internet world" where no this is real and no thing can be touched, marriages dont come in to it, you live your life by the things you type and the minute you type it its gone for good.truth is covered by the sheer amount of lies that are told and you soon find out that no one can be trusted.

so why am i here? fuck knows, cos being alone is some thing i cant cope with any more. the minute my daughter goes bed i only wait for the morning till she wakes up again. i dont go out cos i dont have no money, no help with child care and no one to go out with. i feel doomed to a world and life within my flat alone till i drop down dead and only get found when some one wants some thing doing and cant find me.