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| the worst day ever!!! |
what a bloody rollercoaster. since my last blog, my boyfriend finally moved in to my crazy house but sadly it just wasnt to be. we tried it for a month.......well i say we tried it......i bloody tried it while he just took the piss!!
during the time he was here, he turned into one of my kids, i cooked for him, picked up after him, comforted him when he was unwell and generally mothered him on top of putting out whenever he felt like it. in return, despite the fact im now over 5mths pregnant with our child and have 5 other children at home to be responsible for, he did nothing to support me, didnt help out at all at home but spent all his time on the sodding laptop while my children ran around after him making him cups of tea and just totally took advantage of me and my family. to make matters even worse, he failed to contribute a penny towards anything and while i dont expect to be a kept woman, i certainly do not expect to keep a man.
it was painful and when we spoke about it he offered no excuse for his behaviour, just agreed that he had behaved that way and after some harsh home truths he left.
im gutted!
he's a wanker and has let me down at every stage of our relationship at the times ive needed him most but i love him so so much and this is incredibly painful. its physically hurting me right now. watching the person i adore walk away this afternoon broke my heart, i just feel like ive been involved in a car wreck. its horrible. i know its for the best but im just struggling to come to terms with the loss. i now have to bring another child up on my own which is a difficult thing to cope with too.
tonight im sleeping on the couch as i cant bear to go into my bedroom and sleep in a bed that has been the place we've been closest and that smells of him still.
damn i feel pathetic.
ah well, time will heal im sure.
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Posted by snugglechum on 2009-09-27 17:25:15 | Rating: | Views: 35
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