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well im almost at the end of my first trimester and thought i would use thoughts to keep a pregnancy diary, the ups and downs of single parenthood with number 6 on the way. aaaaagghhhhhhhh!!!!! i must be truly mad.
i think it must be true that you forget all the horrid bits of pregnancy and chidbirth as soon as you are handed your beautiful child for the first time. i certainly dont remember things being quite this rough, although as my doctor likes to keep reminding me..........im no longer as young as i was.
the pregnancy wasnt planned. i love my boyfriend very much but its been a rocky start and we had not been together anywhere near long enough to consider having a child together. however, within a very short period of time, i felt elated. i was having a baby with the man i love.......what could be more wonderful than that?
the good old hormones kicked in very quickly and within a couple of weeks i was vomiting constantly and discovered the most amazingly sensitive sense of smell. everything made me feel nauseous, including many foods that i usually loved. it was a nightmare. but far worse than the sickness has been the overwhelming tiredness which stil remains. i am truly knackered. i dont think ive ever slept as much as i do now and yet i could still sleep more.
i guess these are common problems so im just trying to deal with them day to day and have become a bit of a home bird until the worst of these early symptoms subsides a little and i start to feel human again.
one of the things i am struggling to deal with though is my fragile emotional state. i am a strong woman and even when i do feel down or distressed in any way, im normally very good at putting a smile on and hiding it from the world. thats just not happening right now. im incredibly weepy and worse still, am feeling terribly clingy and needy with my partner. i just want to be close to him all the time and while i know these are normal feelings, its making me feel very weak.
on a positive note, i had a scan a couple of weeks ago and baby is doing well, was fidgety as hell throughout and developing as he should. i was thrilled and very excited to see my little bundle on the screen. i have another scan next week and cant wait.
and so that is it for now. the first trimester has been pretty tough. im hoping things pick up now and i can experience the blooming stage real soon. i shall update soon xx
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Posted by snugglechum on 2009-07-18 11:39:04 | Rating: | Views: 46
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