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Belly Button Pain And A Need To Kick Ass

Initially I wanted to write everyday but time got away from me the last few days. Not in my own life but in my work life. I'll get to that in a bit.

In my life there have been a few changes. I didn't apply for the car loan after all. The bank rate was low but the expected payment was just too high. I can not afford to make a $700 car payment. Still I've begun talking with a mini dealership about my financing options. I'm going to try for a brand new mini and if that doesn't work i'll settle for a used one. I had made several versions of my mini on the official Mini website (wwww.miniusa.com) but have cut out a lot of the extras. Basically all I need right now is a reliable comute. A working AC and radio is just a bonus. Oh and I do require my Mini to be a Mini Cooper S. While manual is what I wanted i'm no where near ready for it, and Panda is too far away to teach me. But the 2009 automatic model comes with steptronic paddles! Oh the fun I will have!!!! The great this is that they are letting me negotiate financing without driving to the dealership. It's much easier to hear I didn't qualify in an email then face to face.

I've also decided that I miss reading, and have purchased a new book. It's called The Ninja Handbook (This book looks forward to killing you soon). It is hilarious!!! I haven't been able to get through the first chapter due to a lack of time but I love it. It's from the Ask a Ninja website. Reading wasn't one of my goals, I wanted to write. I haven't had time to write but i've begun gathering information on freelance work. I think I'm also going to submit to competitions. A friend of mine suggested that I take a writing class or participate in a writing circle. He doesn't think that I'll take the time necessary if i dont' feel an obligation to write. Which is partly true. I'll sacrifice my own time to do things for others, so having a writing assignment will get done while my own stories will be pushed aside. The competition idea is my solution to this. Most competitions have an entry fee, and if i'm paying money to enter then I'll take the time to write. Oh and as you may have guessed i've begun to make more contact with my friends. I really have phased everything out except work. It was what i needed to help deal with the break up with Panda. All my friends thought we were going to get married, and were quite upset about the breakup especially since they didn't know about it for 3 months.

I've also made an appointment with the doctor. Things have gotten interesting again. I still feel like throwing up, and have developed a pain around my belly button. I thought it was nothing big at first until I looked at myself in the mirror. I was getting out of the shower when I noticed that my belly button looked weird. It's suppose to be O shapped, but now has a slight c pushing into it. Basically a small bump on my stomache and it's painful to touch. I called to make an appointment and ended up having to take one for next week. I kinda made the person on the phone mad when I said I didn't want to see the Physicians Assistant because she just medicates me. I may have been her on the phone. Oh well, I figured I can deal with the pain. Which I was doing fine until today. Today I decided to go grocery shoping and I'm one of those people who brings the reusuable bags. I just put everything in the bags as I shop and the more I put in the more my stomach hurt. Being a stubborn idiot, I continued to shop for all the things i came for, even when my back started to hurt too. It was only two bags worth of things but it was enough to make me hurt. A few guys looked at me oddly because I was cursing as I moved around the store. "Fucking Potatos" isn't the usual vegetable talk I guess. But I did look great in my new glasses, which have a crack in the lenses....which isn't bad. My eye doctor has a son which is quite cute. He's flirted a bit with me, and I didn't get to see him today when I picked up my frames. So another trip down there isn't the worst thing that could happen.

Okay so work issues. My job is not easy, it's stressful and things happen that you wish didn't. I've spent the last few days working with co-workers to control things that were not my responsibility. I just seemed to be the person everyone ran to for answers or when shit hits the fan. Shit hit the fan. I've never been so angry or so disgusted in my life. But I had to be strong, and the voice of reason when everything in me said go get a bat. I text Panda looking for something to smile over but he never responded. I didn't take it personal, but it only fueled my anger. I had to shut myself in my office with Coheed and Cambria's "Mother Superior" blaring in my ears. I thank God that I had the CD with me. I know the lyrics aren't something that says don't kill someone but his voice soothes me. It also helps that the lyrics were 'Your answer is in there, Just stare down the barrel. Your sincerest apologies, Won't write you out of this one. Tonight, you'll find the right In the pull of the trigger, now bite." I know I haven't said what pissed me off so much but I can't. Confidentiality is important here, not for me but for everyone else involved. Now I admit that I have quite a temper but over the years I've learned ways of controlling it. So for me to react this way means that it wasn't something small. I pray I never meet the person who I'm angry with because I just may quit my job to kick his ass. I wish i was able to exercise now because it would relieve some stress but if lifting a grocery bag hurts sit ups would be stupid.

So this weekend i'm making plans. I should have something better to report tomorrow.

Posted by sniper_kitty on 2009-09-13 00:15:31 | Rating: