| View Blog
|
|
|
I am envious of all the people on this site that can write everything they are thinking and unafraid to share. You know who you are....Difficult Soul...bubblydi....
I just turned forty-four, and in all my years I have learned a lot, I've taught alot. I've shared my soul and given my heart away only to have it all turned against me. Judged, persecuted. I was young and tender and naive. I trusted blindly and my eyes were opened by cruelty. I don't trust blindly anymore, but I'm also not bitter.
That was the hardest time in my life, ten years after high school. At the time it was the biggest lesson I had to learn. I am so grateful that I did learn and I stopped. I haven't been hurt as hard again.
So, here I go with one of my philosophies of life...the way I raised my children.
I must insist on honesty. I grew up with a mom who had no clue who she was and was scared to death to ask for what she wanted, as I believe, she felt undeserving of happiness. She manipulated every situation and would downright lie to get whatever she needed or wanted. All that did, was make my head scream with uncertainty. Unfortunately, shit runs down hill.
In the case of my marriage, my relationships and my children I have to insist on total revelation. Reveal it all. "I can handle anything...as long as it's the truth", that's what my husband and my kids have heard and recieved from me. Which made some situations uncomfortable but I have known exactly what I'm dealing with and from there we can find solutions. I believe that any other way we stay in the problem and just go around in circle, no one ever growing.
As I said, it did make some situations uncomfortable...like when my son came to me and told me he had tried smoking pot the night before. He decided it wasn't for him. Okay...
My daughter came to me a month before turning sixteen and told me she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend. Okay....so we go to the clinic and get all forms of birth control and a better education with which to make this important decision.
I had to fess up to many, many things. One, that my childhood was affecting my marriage and I had to be honest with myself and make some changes. Okay....
My husband had to do the same....Okay.....
The good news is that no matter what happened or was about to happen we all knew that we could share the truth, no one was going to get into trouble, unless they lied, and that even though we pissed eachother off and still do, we can talk about anything and find a solution ending up with hugs. We also know, that no one is going anywhere. We are committed as a family, and as husband and wife. We love, laugh and share openly. We don't have secrets, but we are allowed our privacy.
This has been my most important philosophy on life. I don't have many friendships because of it, but the friends I do have, I know I can count on for the truth even if it hurts. My best friend told me last summer that I cuss too much. Who me? She told me I was too intelligent to say fuck all the time. She was right, and I watch my mouth now.
I can't stand her fiancee`, she's still going to marry the sob, but we love eachother deeply. I have one other loyal, wonderful friend and we email everyday and I can't wait for her visit. These two friendships mean the world to me and I care for them and nurture them as if they were my children.
Honesty is the best policy. It hurts, it angers you, but if you can get past all of that, then we can go places. We can go to a level of intimacy that people dream about. As the intimacy grows, so does the trust and the love and the committment.
Honesty...its a beautiful word and even more beautiful in practice. |
|
Posted by smilinirisheyes on 2008-04-06 11:10:34 | Rating: | Views: 77
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Great lessons to live by!!!!!! But please don't be bitter and please don't hold back. Lord knows I haven't experienced life through your eyes, but in recent years I have found it much easier to just let things out. Especially somewhere like here. I do have to say the reason I don't ask my friends to join me here is because this is my place. My place to get out what I need to get out, and still get input from others. Although I have been a slacker and haven't been writing I feel like this is my safe place and if I need to get something out then I can. Who cares I may never meet anyone on here. So if they don't like what they read then go ahead say something. I will read it and maybe it will give me food for thought, but otherwise who cares. So what you want, and don't be bitter, bitter sucks!
|
|
Posted by sweet_leilani
on 2008-04-07 06:09:48
|
|
|
|
I agree, the truth will set you free.
I like when you just share your heart.
It is beautiful.
It felt pretty good too, didn't it?
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-10 01:42:47
|
|
|
|
|
It did...baby steps for me. Someday, I hope it can flow as freely as yours DS. That's what I want anyway.
|
|
Posted by smilinirisheyes
on 2008-04-10 05:54:07
|
|
|
|
I feel like a total washout sometimes.
I want to be honest all the time, fear just gets in my way.
This is the only place i feel i can let things out of my system.
The only place where no-one can realy truly touch me and harm me.
The only place i can be myself and not be afraid.
I still hold ack on a lot of things but getting it out of my system on here makes me a whole better person in the real world.
It does feel god doesn't it?. Bless you hun.xx
|
|
Posted by bubblydi
on 2008-04-30 08:15:32
|
|
|
|
|
|
