| I'm Truly Not Happy with My Weight |
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I am so sick of going into my closet and not being able to find anything that fits me anymore. This is a true, and really hard to talk about. I've been up and down all my life, right now I'm up and I hate to look in the mirror.
I know that my husband isn''t attracted to me when I'm fat. And, I am fat.
All I would have to do is quit with the drinking and the eating crap.
I hope and I really think so, my sister will be a good influence on me. I mean, ever since my surgery, I've been laying around on my ass a lot. I'm trying to get back on my feet again...but as I am older, it's not as easy as the last time I had this surgery 15 years ago.
I don't feel sexy. And, I want to. I like the looks I get from men when I'm thin, hell, I even like the dirty looks I get from women when I'm thin.
I almost wish I didn't know what it is like to be thin. It's the society requirement for beauty.
I love my friend Beatififul-Crone. I wish I could be just like her.
Something inside me just can't be. When I'm a fat hog, like now, I just feel depressed and lonely. Even though I've been married for 21 yrs.
I don't know. I'm not asking for help, I'm just telling the truth about me.
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