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| "Now I Suffer For Your Hungry Eye"
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Im sure everyone can think back to a moment in their life when there has been a really close call. Something that in retrospect was a little to close to danger for comfort. Even with all the warnings from parents and authorities, at the time if the situation, you just forget everything. Well you would think that these unwanted encounters happen with creepy strangers. You never expect it to be someone that you know. A couple years ago, a really close friend of mine was eating lunch with me. It was a really nice day and we were outside and just enjoying the suns rays warming our shoulders and skin. I was sprawled out completely relaxed with not a care in the world when my friend turned to me and she smiled. I smiled back until I noticed something in her eyes. If I could only see the upper half of her face, I would have thought she was being tortured. I sat up promptly and asked what was wrong. She just sighed and said nothing. I wasnt going to settle with that so I looked her straight in the eyes and told her to tell me what was on her mind. She laughed and said it wasnt a big deal but after a few minutes of me getting more and more wound up she finally spilled. She told me that a few years back she was over at out mutual friend EB's house. They live really close and they spend a lot of time together. Their families are friends as well. One day during a particulary hot summer afternoon, they had been drinking with some other friends and they decided to play a game. They were in a pretty giddy mood and so they headed inside and settled on playing Hide and Seek. There were about 6 people playing including my friend, EB, and Eb's brother. Eb was "It" and she started counting. My friend was frantically searching for a place to hide and she found a closet. She hid inside and nearly screamed when she saw something move. It was EB's brother. He laughed and told her to be quiet. The closet was small and she was basically sitting on top of him. She said that he looked at her and told her she could sit on him if she wanted to. She agreed and why wouldn't she? She had known him forever, he was like a brother to her. As she was sitting there she felt his arms wrap around her and she just ignored it. When she was telling me this story she couldnt even make eye contact with me. I asked her what happened next and she just nervously laughed and I grabbed her and told her this was no joke, tell me what happened. For the decency of my friend, I wont give a play by play of what happened but it wasnt pretty. Basically, if EB had found them a couple minutes before, he would have had his hand up her shirt. I was shocked. How could he have done something like that to her. I couldnt believe it. I asked her if EB knew and she said she couldnt tell her.
EB is the nicest happiest most considerate person I know, how could this pig be related to her?! The thing that really sent me off the wall was how bizarre my friends composure was when retelling this story. She didnt cry, she didnt look sad, she looked embarassed and awkward. It wasnt her fault! As soon as EB found them, she bolted out of the closet and of course he did the ever famous dont-tell-anyone-about-that.-nothing-happened act after. And the thing that absolutely made me want to hunt him down and claw his eyes out was when I asked my friends why she hasnt told anyone and she replied with a LAUGH and said "its not a big deal. It was a long time ago and im over it." Let me tell you right now, she is not over it. She may act normal towards him and she may laugh but if you look into her eyes when he is in the same room you would know something isnt right. Now I knew she didnt want to talk about it anymore once she confessed this trauma so I dropped it.
Just last year after she told me, we were sitting with another friend of ours who also lives on the same street. EB's brother was brought up in the convo randomly and thats when i saw it. The same look, although not as intense, came up in her eyes. I called her on it and not long after she told us her own encounter with the bastard. He never got his hands directly on her but her sure tried. He even sent her an email after confessing that he wanted her. He makes me sick. And then I thought of all the nights I had spent in that house with him right there. I realized all the signs, all the close calls. Even the times when I was so vulnerably sitting in the house alone with him while EB was outside. All the times when his seemingly innocent conversations could have resulted in something disastrous. I got lucky, he never laid his hands on me. I was also careful after my friend confessed her story. I never let him get close to me and made a lot of excuses to leave the room if he was the only one in there.
At the moment I know of 4 girls that he has tried to "get fresh" with. None as extreme as my close friend but still what a disgusting worthless pig. And you know, now that I know what he really is like, I see all the signs. He is the horniest drunk person ever. He wants to be on top of anything that moves. He has gotten beat up because he comes onto his friends girlfriends. And the greatest irony is that he is the most overprotective big brother. He freaked out when he found out that one of his friends was in love with his sister because he thought that he only wanted to date her to sleep with her. WHAT A JOKE! I do not feel comfortable around him (and with good reason) and my friend tolf our best guy friend her story and he was ready to kick his ass.
So while EB and her truly wonderful parents whom I love are oblivious to her brother, the rest of us are wary. If he ever EVER tries anything with either my friends or me, I swear that will be the end of him. I'll have him locked up before he can say "I just wanted a hug". I thought he was a great person before I learned all this. It always seems to be the person whom you least expect. I still cant get over how lucky I have been because im not gonna lie, I was pretty damn careless around him before I knew his true colours. Why wouldnt I be, he was just my friends brother, noone to be scared of. Who wouldve guessed?
What I hear:
Cold Cold Water--> Mirah
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omg....this is really shocking...i can imagine how hard it must be considering he's ur FRIEND'S brother!
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-03-21 04:35:56
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Yup...my friends brother who has driven us home and hung out with us so many times...unbelievable.
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-03-21 10:32:53
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Now, I think you have blown this out of the water a bit--unless you are not telling all details...
And, what schedules are you people on?!:P Im snowed in from work. WHat about you, angelwings?
...First of all, ages are not clear as to when this all happenned. [And, genders are not always clear either. It took a while to realize EB was a girl and who was doing what to who.] Particularly in the hide and seek game(which I would imagine to happen when you girls are no older than 10 or 12--but I suspect this could have happenned years later cuz of the personalities here).
To me, it sounds like he was a young guy acting on his hormones(whereas I probably would have teased at it or simply overheated under the circumstances if it had been a girl I was attracted to) in a precarious and tempting situation. He could have simply told her to go somewhere else to hide. Sure. But he didn't. He took semi-full advantage of the situation(full situation--which was not allowed--could have been any number of things). I give him some credit for having the "balls" to do so.
Maybe you and/or some of the other girls reacted like violated children to the situation(perhaps there is a big age difference here?) when it was not really so bad. And, it seems strange that this situation popped up in convo at a random sitting at an outdoor luncheon. I can picture the eyes though. And, that fake smile.
Again, I cannot clearly just say "oh, that freak!" or "PIG!" when I am not sure of the complete situation. It would seem as he got older, though, that he turned to drinking and thus corrupted his sense of judgement. He probably felt irked by your reactions prior and turned to the bottle to unleash the monster you called him out to be. Did it ever occur that maybe a different reaction might have curbed his dark side? Now, he just might be the incorrigible hulk:P You don't want to make him angry...or horny...or drunk for that matter.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-03-21 17:31:49
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Brainstormer: Most hormonal male teenagers do not sexually assault younger girls. You give him credit for molesting younger girls?! Honestly brainstormer, I didnt think you were like that. The actually assault happened in around grade 9 and he was a senior. And the only reason that I didnt describe what happened in that closet or to the other girls is because I would rather not have this flagged as innapropriate. The attention was unwanted and I dont see how you can say that it didn't seem that bad. My friend, the first victim, confessed to me a couple years later when we were eating lunch because we were talking about weird drunks and he came up. I just find it a little unbelievable that you can read this entry and assume that it wasnt a big deal. Whatever, you are entitled to your own opinions.
Gwatlan: I think the best thing for my friend is to just try and get past it. Bringing attention to it is just going to bring back the pain and hurt. But thank you for your advice.
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-03-21 22:41:53
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See, I told you I didn't have all the facts. And, I thought it was just one girl who got herself in hot water from a friend's brother fooling around with her in a closet a bit before being found. I thought nothing more than a touch happenned. Now, you say other girls on the same occassion had something indecent happen? ANd you came away clean as a whistle? Sounds a bit fishy.
You are shocked by my response, but I was ill-informed in what I based my response upon.
9th grade...see, you were older than I would expect for such a game:P And, he was old enough to be up to no good anyway. Cripes, it's like the difference between playing with a baby tiger and a full grown one. A scratch or your head bitten off.
No need to jump down my throat. Thanks for respecting "my opinion":P
You avoid confrontation or explosions by screening everything and slapping those CENSORED tags on it all. It's like watching an adult movie with all the concerning parts for kids cut out or altered extremely. If the movie is full of extreme moments, there would be nothing left to show a G-entler audience and thus pointless. You can't tell a dirty joke without the dirt.
I don't know what else to tell you. But, it was difficult to share an opinion with limited or bias info. Of course any "victimized" female is going to rally all the "oh you poor thing" and "that pig!" people without any mention of all sides. It's not rocket science. But, does that really satisfy anything or just put empty sugar on a bitter post? Anyway, it's over. You said what you said. Fin. Peace out:P
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-03-22 00:54:00
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Sexual assault is serious and should not be trivialized. Yes, some forms of sexual assault are more serious than others, just as some forms of physical assault are more serious than others. A punch in the face is not as serious as a knife in the gut a groping of someone's breast is not as serious as forcible intercourse.. but still an assault is an assault and, whether sexual or physical, it is a crime. Also, people often fail to realize that a "mere" touch can cause emotional harm.. it can cause feelings of confusion, mistrust, shame, etc. And we should not shrug off the crime just because the criminal happens to be a youth. Yes, juveniles should not be held to the same standard as adults but they shouldn't be given a free ride either. This boy should be arrested for his criime of assault and face prosecution for his violation of another person's bodily integrity. If he is a juvenile and is remorseful and doesn't have a history of this kind of behaviour then they will probably not deal with him too harshly, he probably will avoide jail time and perhaps even be able to be diverted to an "alternative measures program" so he doesn't get a criminal record. But the shock of having the authorities come and deal with him will drive it home that this is serious business and he can't continue behaving this way or he'll eventually end up in prison. Sexual offenders tend to get more violent and invasive over time if they're not stopped.. they start with a grope, then they will get more violent and aggressive with each incident.
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Posted by hairytoad2005
on 2008-03-22 09:23:53
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I love that song by mirah. She is amazing.
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Posted by jenjan
on 2008-03-24 05:31:18
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I am sorry that this happened to your friend. I am glad that you were protected. You never really know if you can trust someone or not. I once trusted someone and it ended very badly. I don't understand why men think they can just do anything they want to do. Best wishes to all of you who were hurt and missed being hurt.
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Posted by Fancie
on 2008-03-24 19:04:26
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That dude is one of those guys who should just go "Be Quiet and Drive Far Away" (song lyric). I will not judge the youth any farther but he should have exercised some ammount of control. I woulda've labled this on a slip up on his part that he coulda learned from but, apparently, this isn't the first time. Therefore, at the moment, he enjoys FAIL status in my book.
PS: I love posts like this, they really allow one to be completely vunerable to the world.
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Posted by November
on 2008-03-29 15:19:05
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| Views: 116
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