They say that the person you turn out to be relies a lot on your relationship with your parents. I think back on my relationship with my mom and it has always been a smooth ride. I think back on my relationship with my dad and it makes the Rockies look like a beach. Honestly i don't know what happened. I remember being a litle kid and idolizing my dad. He was just so cool through my 6 year old eyes. He could do no wrong. He was the funniest, handsomest, coolest, and overall best of all of my friend's dads. I can't even describe in words how perfect he was in my eyes. I was such a daddy's girl. Note the past tenses. Something just changed. I started to notice his faults. I got tired of his repetitive jokes that i had laughed at so many times before. I got frustrated that he was so irresponsible and only wanted to play, a trait I loved as a kid. I found him to be unreliable and I started to distance myself. The first thing to go was the physical attention. No more bear hugs or piggybacks. No more kisses or tickles. I guess we both started to miss the contact and because it had become so unfamiliar to us, we began to crash into each other. Not physically, but emotionally. I couldn't be with him in a room without getting frustrated by a comment or an action of his. he didn't like my attitude. Whatever relationship we had was slowly but surely disintegrating. I replaced him with my friends, he replaced me with my brother. My brother and him shared a common love, soccer. Their obsession heightened and my dad focused all his attention on my brother and soccer. Now I don't doubt that my dad loves me. He tells me on an almost regular basis and for my dad thats a hard thing to do. Now that i'm older I find myself trying to make up for the lost attention. Not in a positive way either. I'll do things, act a certain way or say certain things just to get him to notice me. It's unhealthy I know but I can't seem to get his attention in any other way. Anyways that's my rant. I lost the precious father-daughter relationship and it's gonna be fucking hard to get it back.

What i hear:

Radio Nowhere--> Bruce Springsteen