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| ''I'll Be Fine Once I Get It, I'll Be Good'' |
Talk about beating a dead horse, but this is my blog and I think it's fair for me to express my feelings freely since I cannot express them to anyone else. I promise, I do have a short story in the works but lately my mind has been a litle busy and I need some inspiration. So I leave the stage to you guys out there in the virtual world. Got anything to inspire me with?
Back to what has been eating at me. Yes, I am over Nick. Yes, I'm aware that he is a douchebag. Yes, I'm aware that I fell for him. Yes, I am kicking myself now for falling for something that I should've spotted a mile away.
Nick is one of those guys with irresistable charm and quick wit. Normally, I don't trust this melange of characteristics but, he truly seemed like a guy with good intentions and decent character. Wrong. Now I totally notice his cheap tricks. I honestly do believe that we had something special for a little while but, he went back to his usual ways and I stood there blindly. He honestly thinks that he is hot shit. The way he carries himself isn't confident as I once thought, it's arrogant. He is constantly checking out girls. Yes, I know he is a guy, but he is not just checking out pretty girls, he checks ALL of them out provided they have a nice ass or big tits. He flirts with all of the new girls and I honestly cannot stand being around him. He still treats me like "his #1 girl" and it makes me want to vomit all over his perfectly fitted jeans.
Problem is my friend Joe, whom I referred to in my last post, has a thing for me. I see him as nothing more than a friend and he will soon get over me as it is only a minor crush. It's flattering to have someone interested in you and at this point, if anything were to happen between us, it would be purely rebound. I am determined not to let anything happen...even though we've gone out on one date already. It doesn't count though! We never kissed or did any couple-y things. I swear!!! It would not be fair to either of us if we got into anything at this moment.
I'm feeling down in the dumps lately and it's not because I feel sorry for myself about the whole Nick debacle. I am mad at myself for not seeing him for who he really is earlier. I'm usually good about that kinda stuff. Guess you can't spot them all. I think he is the first guy that has actually "hurt me." Almost all the breakups I have had have been mutual and this is the first one that ended messy. I run into him all the time and it's hard not to pull him aside and give him a firm talking to. ... Or just a firm knee to the balls.
What I hear:
Pursuit of Happiness--> Kid Cudi
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