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| whats wrong?? |
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i dont really know whats wrong. he went to bed and im sitting here with my cat on my lap. he hung up the phone with his usual good night i love you. i know hes tired but for some reason i wish he had stayed. wished i could have said something was wrong. but i couldnt because i didnt know what was wrong. i dont. why do i feel so upset? maybe im scared to go to sleep? endure the night alone. the nightmares scare me something terrible and sometimes they wont go away. and i cant wake up from them. i sleep all the way through the night with them replaying over and over in my head. i wake up just as tired as when i went to sleep. but i dont think thats whats wrong. i let some things go last night and had a great day. but why am i so upset tonight? why do i feel so lonely? i wished he would call back... i wish he could hold me and tell me he loved me... i wish he could pet my hair and play with my ears and wrap his arms around me as he whispered his thoughts to me and let his warm breath send shivers down my spine. i miss him... i want to see him. i want to touch him. i want to look into his eyes and see how much he loves me. i feel so alone. so lonely. so cold. i just want his warmth again. his smell his sweet touch. im holding his shirt to my face. i guess this will have to do for now. i wish i could tell him how much i truly miss him. yet i cant because i know he misses me just as much. im trying not to cry. trying to keep from the tears rolling down my cheeks. i dont wanna cry anymore. i dont wanna cry ever. crying makes me feel weak and vulnerable. exactly what i dont wanna be. i love him so much. more than anything. i would die for him. give up everything i had for him. anything. just to make him happy. just to see him for one minute... i miss you sweetheart... ill see you soon
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Posted by skull_iris on 2007-10-24 20:59:35 | Rating: | Views: 142
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