Posted by
chebtastic1
on 2008-02-03 14:46:02 |
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Your post made me kinda sad because my marriage was exactly the same. I was married for seven years and recently separated from my husband. It wasn't that he was bad, it was that he was...indifferent. So blase about everything, so damn lazy.
His mum used to fuss around him and he expected the same from me. Where I went wrong is for a while I complained whilst still doing all those things for him. I guess over time he got good at zoning out my complaining (legitimate complaining!) and focused on the fact that he still got his way.
I believe that was my fatal error.
My advice would be to communicate with your husband at this early stage that you wont be treated like this, because its not fair on you. And if all else fails...I'd stop doing anything for him that he ought reasonably to be doing himself. He'll soon get the idea.
As for your mum in law...mine was like that...no one would have been good enough for her boy. I would just ignore her, or if you can't...don't take anything negative she says to heart. She's only saying it cause in her eyes she has lost her child!
I wish you loads of luck anyway, but above all, remember that we only get what we put up with. It was a lesson I learned all too well, and the hard way.
Best wishes to you xxx |
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Posted by
amanda32
on 2008-02-03 17:51:25 |
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| No, no, no, this is not as it should be, its his mom interfering, u would be best getting out having ya own place! If this aint poss then give him an ultimatum, he a grown man not a child!! |
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Posted by
whiteknight
on 2008-02-04 14:15:27 |
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Ok, I am a lil confused here so i will give two answers:
1)If you are saying he was a perfectly fine guy pre-mom and now is this baby boy in a 20's body, then mom needs to go bye bye.
2)If he is this way from the start and just got worse w/ mom then this is simple. You go to mom and explain that her lil boy needs tough love and you will give it to him and that if mom gets in the way then she can go with him and they can live like a married couple in some pig stye while you find a man. Then simply do your 50 percent. Don't do his!! Do not let mom doe his! You do yours and he will either leave w/ mom, stay and get better or just sit and a corner and rot.
I know it may get rough, but do it.
I hate men like this as they give men a bad name. |
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Posted by
AubrieA1
on 2008-02-07 09:38:02 |
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Your husband needs to grow up.
you shouldnt have to baby him.
I dont really have good advice to give cause I have never been married and I am quite young but just somebody to talk to is nice sometimes |
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Posted by
ILOVEKOLIA
on 2008-02-11 12:09:18 |
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| I'd have to say that Asian people are similar to what you are stating here. If you aren't happy doing that & tries to meet up to his Mother's standards, I think you should really talk to HIM and tell HIM that you are not his Mother and that he is GROWN & that you don't need to be BABY-ing him and that he is old enough to take care of himself. And you don't need to meet up to his Mother's standards. Think about it. What is she to you? God? No! So whether she likes it or not, she's gonna have to live with it. She's gonna have to accept you for who you are and your just gonna have to tell your husband what LIFE IS ACTUALLY "ALL" ABOUT. |
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