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| I didn't know I felt that way
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I watched my husband lumber through the house today, counting pennies to ride the city bus, and I felt revulsion. He is large, pushing 275. He is hairy, chest, back, arms, legs. He is a "stoner" who likes to play computer games (even after I said not to clutter the hard drive with that shit) and smoke in my guest room. I hate him so much some days. And on the days when I don't feel out and out hatred, I feel a mild sort of disillusionment. He knows I want to leave. He knows I am ready to set out on my own to find my own fortune, maybe enjoy an orgasm again. He says to me, "You won't ever get anyone better than me. I may be a stoner, I may have to ambition, but I am the top of the food chain for you. I have accepted my place in life, being stuck with a woman like you. You should too. You might find someone who is clean, someone with a better job than me, but he will be ugly. He won't love you or the children, and he will get tired of you." I thought about this little piece of hatred he spewed forth. He is wrong. I know a man...whose touch thrills me, who teases me relentlessly, who occupies my thoughts constantly. He is better looking...smarter. Better money and more class. I could sleep with him...I would sleep with him. Fuck it...I will sleep with him.
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Posted by sinsation on 2007-09-30 13:16:57 | Rating: | Views: 135
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I agree with last sentance. Sounds like the brute at home deserves it.
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Posted by slooj
on 2007-09-30 13:24:21
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SINSATION, I KNOW THE TEMPTATION IS DIFFICULT, BUT THINK OF THE KIDS AND YOURSELF. WILL YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF IF YOU DO SLEEP WITH THIS NEW GUY? IT DOESN'T SOUND TO ME LIKE YOU JUST WANT A ROLL IN THE HAY, YOU WANT A CONSIDERATE, LOVING, CARING, TRUSTWORTHY, THE LIST CAN GO ON, KIND OF MAN NOT JUST A ROLL. BUT YOU GET THE POINT. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. INSTANT GRATIFICATION IS ONE THING BUT I DON'T THINK THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. DON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE TELLS YOU ABOUT YOURSELF. YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, YOU BE THE JUDGE. HE SOUNDS AS IF HE IS SAYING THE UGLINESS THAT IS DOWN DEEP INSIDE HIM, AND MAYBE HE HAS INSECURITY ISSUES. GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU GET INTO ANOTHER, JUST MY VIEW, TAKE IT IF YOU WANT. YOU AND THE KIDS CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU SOUND LIKE A VERY STRONG WOMAN, DO THE RIGHT THING.
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Posted by bookgirl
on 2007-09-30 13:26:01
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