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It is my theory that EVERYONE who comes out of a marriage or other long term relationship needs to have a rebound.
Now, I am talking about a RELATIONSHIP here, not merely someone to knock boots with. There is a certain etiquette that needs to occur for a scucessful rebound relationship, and there are expectations to have and not to have, also one must exercise CAUTION when picking a rebound mate.
In terms of etiquette, your rebound should never be led to believe that there is a remote chance of this becoming long term, but for your own sanity, you should not be dating others or looking for the next Mr./Mrs. Right during a rebound. Your Rebound is a person with feelings. Ideally, your rebound should be someone who has all of the qualities that you found lacking in your Ex that you wish he /she had. For example, if your Ex hated lazing about on a Sunday morning, your Rebound should be someone who likes to chill with coffee and the paper and then plan something fun for the rest of the day. If your Ex was anal retentive about the cleanliness of his/her car, and it drove you up a tree, try someone who has leftover shake cups on their dash. Some dating experts advise steering clear of going all the way with a rebound if 2nd base will do the the trick for you, but that is up to you. Personally, I had GREAT sex with my rebound after years of being with the same person, and it was what I needed. The main point of a Rebound is to make you feel attractive to the opposite(or same, it that is the case) sex, which is an important part of the healing process.
Let's talk about expecatations. Here are some to have of your rebound. 1. It should be someone who is willing to take you out and fun a good time doing the things you like. 2. It should be someone who makes you laugh. 3. It should be the type of person you who date if you were looking for a committed relationship. A rebound is PRACTICE to get back into the dating game. Here are some UNFAIR expectations 1. Don't expect your rebound to make life altering desicions for you ie. moving to a new place to live near you. 2. Don't expect your rebound to stay with you if they meet their soulmate while dating you(this should idealy be an agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship 3. Don't expect your rebound be the next love of your life. Know that there is a season for your rebound, ideally summer. 4. Don't expect your rebound to heal the wounds of your break up, your rebound is like an anti-biotic ointment, there to help, but not to eliminate the scars.
Now, who are good rebound candidates and who are bad ones?
Let's start with the bad: 1. Any friend or family member of your Ex(that was my big mistake, my rebound was a guy who worked for my Ex) 2. The dude next to you at the mandatory state parenting class that you have to take to proceed with your divorce 3. Your friends relatives, good friends are important during a break up, don't lose your best friend as a support system because you took a roll or two in the hay with her brother. 4. Someone already in a relationship 5, That cute guy at work 6. Anyone on the internet
The Good- 1. The cute guy at Strarbucks 2. The cute guy at the gym 3. The cute guy at the Sports Bar you and your friends frequent. 4. The cute guy in the park where you jog.
Ideally, the rebound will wane out and the two of you can remain friends. Most of all be kind to your rebound, they deserve it.
Please comment
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Posted by singleat41 on 2008-06-16 18:40:53 | Rating: | Views: 197
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I agree, i referred to him as my transition man ... although it didn't start out that way, we both knew it wasn't going to last... it was only a month or so .. would've liked it to be a bit longer, but the passion was great.
We are definitely good friends still, we work together!!!!!
Anyway.. good theory and I agree.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-06-16 20:39:22
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actually..how did we know tat da particular person is a rebound for u?
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Posted by LittLe_haNd
on 2008-06-19 11:01:03
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OMG, this is such an awsome blog. When I divorced the ass, I knew that I needed a break from a relationship, having settled down at the ripe age of 14. I made a promise to myself to spend the next few years learning about my self and enjoying my girlfriends. I did just that. However, let's face the facts....we all have needs. I had a "rebound" as you call, except I called mine my bootycall partner, or my friend with benefits. It lasted for over 2 years! We are best friends to this day! I've even introduced him to other half, they are the best of friends now.
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Posted by selfcentered
on 2008-09-30 11:17:05
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