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Sometimes I wish I had someone to share everything with. But then again I don't. I'm so comfused! I'm driving myself crazy. I wish I could make up my mind. I'm tired of being alone. I have my best friend that I share things with. For God sakes, I share my room, my bed, my clothes! But its not enough, plus she's a girl so that's out of the question!! I want a man in my life. But I have a problem, I'm just so picky about who its is. I guess its not all that bad that I'm picky. Atleast I know what kind of man I want. I just can't find him. I want someone who can make me smile all the time. Make me laugh, someone who I can enjoy being around all the time. Someone who doesn't care what other people think about us. And of course won't cheat. But we all know that those kind of people are hard to find. I want someone who will love me for me and not for what I have. (Which isn't much) All at the same time though, I don't want any of that. Mainly because I want to have my freedom to do what I please. Talk to who I want to talk to. I don't want to worry about getting into stupid little fights. I don't want to worry about the things people worry about in relationships. See at this point in my journal I'm probably losing you, your probably sitting there saying what is wrong with her? She's making no sense, just make up your mind. What you don't know is that I'm trying. I'm trying very hard to figure out what I want. Maybe I'm just trying to hard. What do you think? It always seems that when you're not looking for anything someone notices you and wants you, but when you are looking noones interested. Or when you're talking to someone or are with someone, all the people you shown intrest in wants you. Life is so comfusing it angers me. I guess they were right, Life's not easy and if it was there would be no adventure!
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I know exactly how you feel. I can relate y'know? I don't want to have anyone at the moment. I don't want to be involved. But then, I do. I want someone to kiss my forehead, tell me I'm beautiful, cuddle up to me in bed and wrap his arms around me. I want a guy that will make my life amazing.
It feels like I'm been pulled between two different realities, i can't make up my mind. And no-one can make my mind up for me.
I don't want to be alone. I want someone.
But I don't want a man. I want my freedom.
I might of lost you by now ... I don't really know.
Sorry - that really didn't help did it?
Tessa x
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Posted by Tessa
on 2007-11-27 12:39:06
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| Views: 54
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