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truthfully i have the best relationship. im with a smart, business minded, impatient, selfish man. what u r thinking is those arent good qualities. but they are. but i fucked up and let me tell u how i almost lost the best thing that happened to me. i have a ex best friend named kb and he apparently is of the opposite sex. i am probably one of the most jealous people that i know. when i found out that my boyfriend whose name is jeffrey had a best friend of the opposite sex i told him i didnt like it at the time i really hadnt been talking to kb cuz he moved and it wasnt that serious for me to have to talk to him. but let me explain to u his personality. hes one of those guys that say whats on his mind and doesnt care if he offends u truthfully. he likes to have fun he doesnt work so i guess he lives a party life. but anyways i used to drink very heavy and dont remember what i did sometimes and i used to drink with him a couple of times he wasnt an alcoholic but he liked to drink like every nite. so once i got drunk with him and he gave me head and i let him but we didnt have sex. i told jeffrey nothing happened between us and i should have just told him the truth of course that would make me a hypocrite since i dont want him to talk to his female best friend. but he also met my best friend i never met his. i talk to my best friend about any and everything. sometimes i know its not right but i cant talk to my boyfriend about certain things because he either gonna judge me or give me a lecture that i dont want to hear. currently i am 40 wks pregnant and my bf isnt the father i met him during my pregnancy. that story could be found on my other blog. so oh btw i am technically homeless. ive lived 6 different places during my pregnancy no of which worked out. but the part that almost cost me my relationship was this. this guy i know would let me live with him and the fatha of the baby said that we could rent a room out together. i didnt want any of this but i am staying with jeffrey and hes tired of me. so with that being said i dont have anywhere to go truthfully. but i told my best friend this and not my boyfriend. i was staying with him every nite so my thing is i couldnt tell him because i didnt want to lose him. i put jeffrey above so many things and im starting to believe that i am crazy. the way i talk to kb is through aim. one night my boyfriend read all of our conversations and threw all my stuff downstairs. i hae NEVER cheated on my bf i love him to much. but i realize how i have disrespected him and i didnt mean to but i wont talk to my best friend anymore nor lie to jeffrey because losing him is not something im going to experience in this lifetime. but now i know we have to start over in our relationship to regain trust and everything and i am prepared to do that. but he cant throw it up in my face every few minutes because that would damage what we are trying to rebuild. but the hypocrite part comes in because i pretty much complained to my bf until he stopped talking to all the females in his life. now i guess all he has is me. that im not mad at but i was trying to have my cake and eat it too. my bf will never understand what was going on in my mind because i barely do. but sometimes i wonder where our communication is cause it has to be very low if im wondering anything.
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Posted by simplyjayden on 2008-07-04 14:03:20 | Rating: | Views: 79
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