so i had a relationship with my high school sweetheart that went terribly wrong over the next few years after graduation. from there we've been through everything such as an engagment, trying to get pregnant, loss of jobs, gun and robbery charges, and an unplanned pregnancy.
So after he was locked up for robbing ME i dropped all the charges and we eventually started to be together again.
Well his charges got lowered to disorderly conduct and we were content with a year of probabtion. But i threw up at that court date.
I had started a new job and me and my boyfriend weren't really together because he refused to stop talking to this ugly female but u know young love and hormones anything goes. So i met this guy at my new job that just seemed fun to chill with. Well call him newbie.
So during my relationship with my bf i started to drink heavy and newbie asked me if i wanted to come to his dorm for drinks one day of course i said yes.
from there i wonder what god had in store for me. Me and newbie weren't anything special just friends and since my bf didnt want to hang with me all the time i decided to just go with the flow. When i got to his dorm for some reason I didn't drink.
We didnt do anything it was just the best night of talking cuddling and playing anyone could ever ask for.
4 days later i left work early because my stomach was in so much pain and i went to the hospital where they told me i was pregnant.
Much to my surprise and confusion i told my bf and he wanted this but i still was curious about newbie. i told him and just hoped nothing would change between us.
I grew depressed because my bf didnt want to grow up and help me he still wanted to smoke and not work. i had to leave him.
i got thousands of phone calls where he said he wanted to take me  to court for rights of the baby and i was unfit. then when he figured out i had a new bf he started to say its not his.
Whatever.
So i moved on with newbie and experienced probably one of the best relationships i'll ever have. Problem is he has no feelings towards my baby. My due date is 5 days away and i thought maybe he'd change but he stands in his words. he knew all this time the baby waas coming and everything but he still has no type of opinion.
so i got kicked oout of my house and somehow ended up staying with him for a while. but i need my own place.
of course he doesnt want to live with me.
so i feel real dumb.
i feel like i sacrificed so much to be with him and now im stuck and he's comfortable in his house with his mom and that security. i dont have that and i am jealous and mad and mostly hurt.
i dont know what to do. my baby's father's family now knows about the baby and im wondering if i should just dump them with the baby and move on with my life. but i cant imagine what life would be like without her. she feels just like i do and its crazy.
it feels like id be setting myself up for the wrong thing to try and let newbie stay with me. i have drama that he wont undertand and he has like these dreams that he seems to be pursuing and my dream is just to have him and my baby and not lose what i think would be the perfect man for me.
i know im being selfish and im not thinking about the baby but how can i better myself as of right now?