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| Learning to expect the unexpected...or expect the
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pretty confusing if you ask me. so just a prep for the wonderful soap opera of my love life. so ive dated john off and on since new years day 1999. i met him at church and i guess just automatically figured that he was going to be the one for me. now, things progressed as we got to know each other and spent more time together, now....let me not forget to mention that I, i am the good girl with a wild streak. im a girl who is naturally chipper and sees the positive side to every person and story. nothing is greater in this world to me than to laugh. John on the other hand is the bad boy with a good streak he has a huge heart but is also lost from time to time. For the last 5 years, john has been real bad into drugs. now...i was absent for 3 of those years, engaged twice in those years and found him again about 3 months ago. he has been clean for 6 months. now, the reason i was absent from his life for those years.....he wouldve been the death of me. i love this man like no other. he is my air. my best friend and lover and confidant. we complete each other as well as he announces to everyone that i am his better half. so, right now, he put himself in a drug treatment program about 3 weeks ago...despite the fact that he has been clean for a few months. i applaud his efforts ...especially since he is 2 years shai of turning 30! but it gets me to wonder...will he get out and stay clean? or will he go back to his same ol ways? will i wait for him to get his act together because i am truly still in love with him? or will i continue to date the extremely good looking guy who looks like the boxer 'Fernando Vargas' and owns his own company at the age of 24, or will i continue to want the ex drug addict thug with a tattoo over his eyebrow and unemployed? i believe that none of that matters when you love someone.....but the question is how much does it matter when you love yourself more and of course the common sense answer would be the one with his head on his shoulders...however john has my heart and brings out the best of me. crazy...what is a girl to do?
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Posted by silla98 on 2007-08-20 22:58:53 | Rating: | Views: 76
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Isn't it a tragic thing that we cannot choose who we fall in love with? I used to think we did have a choice. We don't. Love is an entity in its own right. We cannot control it anymore than we can control the wind.
I say, pray, and let the wind blow through your hair.
Embrace love, no matter what package it comes in. It may never come along again.
AND...I truly believe that anyone can change.
My best to you.
Thanks for the comment...made me day..I am pretty new here.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-08-21 12:20:18
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