Hey Shygirl,
I know How depression can feel. Like your in the pits of dispare. Iv been there. You feel trapped. Like there is no way out. When i was 14 i tried to commit suicide.... Tried.... but failed at that too... I felt like i was a complete failure at everything. Like i could never get one think right. I felt like the world would be better off without me. My family better off without me. Yes i knew i woulda made them sad but at the time i just thought they would eventually forget about it and me.... But you know what?.... Im still here.... Next month ill be 21. I got past my 15th bday.... I feat i never thought was possible when i was 14. I know right now the world may seem bleak and your all alone. But just know... If you grit your teeth and pull through you can make it. I know how hard it is to actually make it though. trust me.. .Iv been there. Its not fun at all. Depression is a deep dark black whole that threatens to swollow you up with no escape. Im just glad i finally found my escape. Now i know i aint got the perfect life now or anything... In fact far from it.
I still struggle with my own issues.
I have a eating disorder. Im a cutter. I have trust issues.
But all in all my life is not too terrible. The point is i made it through my dark days. I survived. And even now when things get so dark i dont think i can handle it, you know what i think of? I think of my favorate quote.

Nothing bad lasts forever, And this too shall pass.

I really hope you find your escape from the dark hole of depression. You have your whole life ahead of you. And i know right now you can even see more than a few minutes ahead but if perhaps you try and envision your life with all your problems now conqured... perhaps it will help. I wish there were better advise i could give you but thats all i got is my own personal experiance. I hope it maybe helps a bit. If you ever wanna talk im here for you.
Ashley Reyes

thank u. thank u for the kindness..

Please don't kill yourself. You are a special person and you will go to heaven when God sees that you should. Do not take your life away.

I have a certain kind of depression brought on by my Agoraphobia. I can't leave the house without feeling scared, unsure, nervous, and I get a terrible clenching pain in my chest like someone is squeezing my heart. I hate not being able to be around others or see the beautiful world around me from somewhere besides through the window in my bedroom, but I'm so afraid something will happen to me. I can't even be around my family most of the time because their clustered presence frightens me.

But I've found ways to go on. I've never made any friends in the US the many years I've lived here because I'm scared of people. I cry and blame God at any chance I can, even though I know it isn't his fault.

Please go on. Someone cares, someone loves you. You are something because the Lord created you and made you who you are. Be brave!

Där det finns en vilja finns det ett sätt.

i know exactly how you feel. I was at the same point you were at the same age you are right now. And the worst thing that i did was waiting for someone to save me. thats why my depression lasted so long. It felt like everything was drawing it out. but take it from someone who cares, you cant wait like i did. 'cause everything in this life that is worth having you have to work at. Find the root cause of your own personal hell and try to fix it. just remember that your forever could last 10 minutes or 100 years. you just never know.. and its not worth living your possible last days in depression. life is literally to short to waste. im sorry if this didnt help.
but when you get out you'll see that life is beautiful... you know pain so you'll know the difference in a great sense. and happiness will be just that much sweeter.
good luck
message me if you need to talk. im here.

thanks. thanks 2 all of u for the support. even if i make it through this thought, i am still depressed. im not cutting just really really upset it kind of makes me nevrvouse because well it's not me....but anyway, THANKS u r all so sweet and caring

keep holding on, i first had thoughts about suicide at 11 and its been 10 years now, i havent changed... i feel the same but i try to hold on each day, mostly for my family partly for my freinds.
sometimes i get angry and think "why am i doing this just so they dont get hurt?, is all my pain worth what they would lose if i left?, No...people die all the time and families and freinds eventually get over it (very eventually and sometimes they dont)"
but i still hold on because i dont want to hurt my family and i dont know what might happen tomorrow, my whole life could change at the drop of a hat, new job, new love etc.. i might be unhappy for years to come but part of whats got me through is that i resolved to at least stick it out till it wouldnt affect as many people if i did it, and so i hope i have something to treasure by the time i am in a position to run from all this.
i think even if your freinds and family knew how you felt they would still not understand why suicide seems a good option, usually people who have never experienced suicidal thoughts can only sympathize rather than understand and the ones who do are often to scared to say they think you have a point incase they "help you do it".
to me the most important thing is trying to forget my problems and have fun, laughter helps me alot, i think if i didnt laugh all the time id probably cry.

hope some of that makes sense,
have you seen a doctor about antidepressants?

thanxs for all the support, i mean it helps but i think i kno the best cure than medicine: seeing my friends! maybe that will make it go away, maybe just maybe the love that came from them, might bring me up again.