Yesterday in Poetry, my professor made us read an article called "Ezra Pound," which basically insulted modern poets because they dull phrases with unnecessary words. He discusssed several points throughout the hour and fifteen minute lecture, most of which had to do with Bret Michaels from Poison and Every Rose Has It's Thorn - which is just frightening in itself.

But that I could handle.

What I can't handle about my Poetry class is that it consists of a teacher who is disturbingly similar to Jeff Folger, and a bunch of students who are disturbingly similar to Jeff Folger's typical fan club - a bunch of self-righteous geeks who have superiority complexes because they get Folger's jokes and relate to his opinions and are therefore "sophisticated" and above other stereotypical high school students who are "robotic." I shouldn't just pick on Folger...it was Dolezilik too :)! To be honest, they're good teachers. But I absolutely hated the atmosphere of their classes because it was like one massive smug orgy without the sex. Everyone was too busy masturbating to their "unique insight" and ejaculating ego all over themselves.

And here I am again, cursed to breathe in the dirty sex smell every Monday and Wednesday from 11 to 12:15. The class is so formulaic.

Professor: FUCK FUCK FUCK DAMN SHIT BITCH FUUCCKK
The Smugs: HOMG LOLOLOLOL THIS GUYZ LYK SO AWESUM CUZ HE SAYZ D BAD WURDS LOL
Professor: Any mother fuckers in here get the flu shot every season? That means you believe in evolution! Or you could be like the fucking Christians who have a different solution for why we get sick: because God did it.
The Smugs: LMAO THIS IS FUNNEE BECUZ I AM NOT CHRISTIAN SO I LAFF WHENEVR COOL TEECHERZ MAKE FUN OF DEM LOL ST00PID CHRISTIANS
Professor: Fuck :)

I mean that's pretty much it. They are ALL THE SAME. Just because he uses swear words and watches movies and is less than ten years older than us, suddenly he's our lord and savior. These college students, who bring up art history at any given opportunity even when it's completely irrelevant to the conversation.

Professor: The poem is about a bus.
A Smug: It's like that one painting at the Nelson of the bus, depicted in the futuristic art period, with yellow headlights that symbolize the coming of the sun...
Professor and other Smugs: You make MY sun want to cuuumm!!

They think they are so intelligent. I'm not saying they're dumb, I'm just saying.....ok I'm saying they're dumb.

Professor: It would be like replacing the word "water" with "h20."
Ugliest Smug in the Room: H20 is wringing out a dry towel.
Professor: CUM CUM JIZZ CUM OHHHHHHHH MEET ME AFTER CLASS

I miss Mr. Kennedy's class so much.

Don't get me wrong, I love college. I think it's great here. It's just this class, or rather, a majority of the people in it. The others are really cool, and just sit quietly and try to make time go by faster like myself.

How do I do it? It's simple: I count the amount of time my Professor uses the word "right." Last lecture - 195 times in the first half hour of class.

Eff-in-a. 

~Brittany.